Success by Association

Have you ever been curious as to why some people respond to positive suggestion more readily than others? Maybe you are one of those people who haven't had the results you hoped for with hypnosis or self-hypnosis. However, there may have been a missing element you weren't told about. We are all familiar with the expression "guilt by association." During the formative years who wasn't told to be careful about the company they kept? An expanded view of this idea may also explain why some people are not able to make desired changes in their lives. One element of "association" concerns our self-image- which aspects of our personality and life history do we most identify with. Every person is a unique combination of both positive and negative traits and experiences. However, a major difference between successful people and those whom we might term "unlucky' seems to be a matter of focus. As a rule happy and successful people associate fully with their triumphs. They consider their mistakes and failures to be valuable learning experiences, however they disassociate from them emotionally and therefore do not continue to be tormented by them. So when a new challenge arrives they take from their past the belief, "I have met other challenges before and I am going to do the same here as well." The opposite is true for people we might describe as unlucky. Generally speaking, these individuals are very adept at recalling and vividly re-experiencing their disappointments and failures. Yet they have a distinct difficulty reliving their victories, either disregarding them as accidents or actually forgetting them. Yet chances are that in objective reality the number of good things in their past or present are not below average and may indeed be higher. Rather it is where the attention is being directed. This inability to associate with the "better self" may be one of the reasons why some folks have difficulty responding to beneficial suggestions, whether from others or self-delivered. For example, being asked to imagine "feeling proud and confident as you firmly and decisively say no to the idea of a cigarette," is going to be quite difficult if you cannot recall feeling proud and confident! An emotional reference point needs to be established first. If this describes you, take heart and consider going on a mission to recover some empowering memories. One idea is to write out an autobiography of your better moments, perhaps using old photo albums as a guide. Revivify those memories to the point to where you actually feel the positive emotional state return and apply that same emotional energy to your visualizations for a brighter future. Want to learn more about hypnosis for self-improvement? Visit New Jersey Hypnotist