Success by Association
Have you ever been curious as to why some people respond to
positive suggestion more readily than others? Maybe you are one
of those people who haven't had the results you hoped for with
hypnosis or self-hypnosis. However, there may have been a
missing element you weren't told about. We are all familiar with
the expression "guilt by association." During the formative
years who wasn't told to be careful about the company they kept?
An expanded view of this idea may also explain why some people
are not able to make desired changes in their lives.
One element of "association" concerns our self-image- which
aspects of our personality and life history do we most identify
with. Every person is a unique combination of both positive and
negative traits and experiences. However, a major difference
between successful people and those whom we might term "unlucky'
seems to be a matter of focus.
As a rule happy and successful people associate fully with their
triumphs. They consider their mistakes and failures to be
valuable learning experiences, however they disassociate from
them emotionally and therefore do not continue to be tormented
by them. So when a new challenge arrives they take from their
past the belief, "I have met other challenges before and I am
going to do the same here as well."
The opposite is true for people we might describe as unlucky.
Generally speaking, these individuals are very adept at
recalling and vividly re-experiencing their disappointments and
failures. Yet they have a distinct difficulty reliving their
victories, either disregarding them as accidents or actually
forgetting them. Yet chances are that in objective reality the
number of good things in their past or present are not below
average and may indeed be higher. Rather it is where the
attention is being directed.
This inability to associate with the "better self" may be one of
the reasons why some folks have difficulty responding to
beneficial suggestions, whether from others or self-delivered.
For example, being asked to imagine "feeling proud and confident
as you firmly and decisively say no to the idea of a cigarette,"
is going to be quite difficult if you cannot recall feeling
proud and confident! An emotional reference point needs to be
established first.
If this describes you, take heart and consider going on a
mission to recover some empowering memories. One idea is to
write out an autobiography of your better moments, perhaps using
old photo albums as a guide. Revivify those memories to the
point to where you actually feel the positive emotional state
return and apply that same emotional energy to your
visualizations for a brighter future.
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