Good Enough
"If I'm not going to earn money from it, I shouldn't do it!" Is
this your inner voice stopping you from pursuing something you
would enjoy, like a creative endeavor, a sport, or an
exploration? Many people blindly obey this inner naysayer. They
decide they're already not "good enough" at something to justify
spending time on the very thing they feel compelled to explore.
If this is a script you use to sabotage your dreams, it's time
to stop!
The truth is, your wanting to play the flute again, or write
short stories, or learn tennis, or whatever you are called to
do, is reason enough to do just that. The potential benefit to
you lies in the DOING of the activity, not in your reaching some
external performance standard. Enormous value awaits you in your
pursuit of what you are called to do. Wherever you are on the
continuum of talent and skill, you are good enough to merit
participating in the activity.
You say you won't be performing to sold-out concert halls? So
don't quit your day job . . . but play your flute! Chances are
you can find other people at your level to play with. If
performing is important to you, then you will also find
appropriate venues and audiences.
You say roller-blading looks fun, but it's "too late" for you to
learn? Wrong! You may have to endure the humbling indignities of
learning new physical skills, but don't kid yourself - it's not
too late. Just because you are used to feeling "on top of your
game" in many arenas - work, relationship, aerobics - don't let
yourself be turned off by the prospect of feeling clumsy and
unskilled. You may never be a remarkable roller-blader, but
don't rob yourself of having roller-blading in your life. You
can't afford to disregard your desire to do it! You don't have
to be "good" at it in order to enjoy it. And if it's important
to you, you can always get better at it.
When I first started my cycling training, I felt like the
slowest person on the road. It took a lot of hard work to get
myself literally up to speed to finish the endurance event I had
chosen. I had to learn to disregard and replace the recurrent
internal voice that said, "You're too slow! You shouldn't be
doing this!" I learned to talk back to that voice by saying
things like, "It's not a race" and "I'm getting faster."
You know what? For all my work and effort, I'm still not a
remarkable athlete (surprise!). No scout from the Women's
Over-50 U.S. Olympic Cycling Team discovered me as someone to
groom for the team. I only lost twelve pounds - I still have
eight to go. I was not approached by "Midlife Muscle Magazine"
for an interview. But I didn't need THOSE outcomes to justify my
participation. The DOING was its own justification. I cannot
begin to tell you how much I learned from the process, and what
a great thrill it was to finish that ride!
I strongly, even zealously encourage you to honor what you are
longing to do. Allow yourself to engage in the pursuits that
compel you. Let yourself be " . . . quietly drawn by the deeper
pull of what you truly love," as the 13th century mystic poet
Rumi said.
COACHING TIPS:
1. Where do YOU "feel yourself quietly drawn by the deeper pull
of what you truly love" or might love?
2. Do you have resistance to doing what you are drawn to?
3. If so, give it voice and write down what it sounds like. This
voice might sound something like:
a) You're not good enough at it (to merit spending time, money
or focus on it)
b) There's no point to that activity.
c) Excuse me? You want to do WHAT?
d) You already have too many interests and dreams.
4. Write down responses to the objections you gave voice to in
3, above. They might sounds like this:
a) I'd like to get better at it.
b) The value is in the doing of it, not in the result.
c) Yes, I want to...
d) Let's be creative about how this might be possible.
5. Get support from yourself and others to do it.
If you're considering hiring a coach to help you pursue your
endeavors, contact me at sharon@stcoach.com for an initial
consultation at no charge.
Copyright 2003 Sharon Teitelbaum. All rights reserved.