You Owe the Government More Than Me,Get Off the Couch.
Today I was browsing the internet,you know,the place for all things cool.Anyways,I came upon this site that had a rant and rave section.I thought to myself "Wow,another shitty rant section".Regardless I kept looking through the worthless threads and the unhelpful or flat out moronic comments people were giving.I saw threads such as "OMG I lyke h8 trucka hatz!!!!!!!!111" and the always famous "I hate cops for giving me a speeding ticket.Come on,it was only 95 in a 30." which is followed by a "I was robbed where were the cops." which was ironically written by the same damn person...ok,so that last bit was false,but you catch my point.
So,after looking through I wasn't surprised to see a lot of topics concerning school.Hmm...I understand the reason people hate school much.Afterall,what sucks more than becoming smart like me so you can totally own people?Hmm...maybe flipping burgers for the rest of your life?Oh wait a minute,that's right...welfare.Thanks to the good old government my smart brain cells and hot body will in the end pay for you to make babies and set on the couch.
Than I was thinking of these welfare recipiants and how half of them are lazy slobs that are just too fucking worthless to make something of themselves.All of a sudden I had the greatest idea in the history of mankind,what if the government went around,found the lazy bastards getting off free,and send those motherfuckers to Iraq.Think about this,they say that your country needs you in times of war right?Well,what better way to pay back all of the free money and easy living than to take a free trip to a foreign country so they can get exercise?It seems like the perfect plan,but there's one major problem....none of these people would be willing to do that for their countries.Why would they?They're living easy.So I went through a small thought process and came up with a plan.I have no name for it,but I think it would work nice.
The first step in this master plan would be to send out a notice to all the worthless slobs and tell them they need to go to a certain place to pick up their check.This place happens to be an empty warehouse in the middle of nowhere,but that's not important.After they become pissed off and go to this place instead of getting paid they're met with some of our soldiers standing there with something most of them are familiar with...zip ties and duct tape.After kicking ass on these people they'll get a one way ticket straight to the heart of this war.When they get there they'll have a small pistol and some crackers.Also there will be some orders left in their pockets,but since most can't read they'll be useless.Although failure to read works in favor of us.Now,we have them walk around the desert and shoot everything that moves.If they shoot one another,who cares?If they're killed...it's ok...less tax money for them and more for us.That's why I feel this plan works.Even if they all die they at least saved us money and some land.That's why my plan rocks,the only people that lose are whinos and no one gives a shit about them.
About the Author
The Epic is owner of a personal site known as theEpicZone.com .