7 Powerful Steps towards Wisdom
"I changed my mind."
These are four of the most powerful words in the English
language. They can prevent you from being manipulated into an
undesirable outcome and launch you on the road to personal and
spiritual growth. Depriving yourself of the freedom to change
your mind will lock you into a rigid mindset that can hamper
your successes and your development.
Early in life you may have been led to believe it's not good to
change your mind. There are numerous words with negative
connotations associated with those who do change their minds:
fickle, indecisive, hesitant, unsure, wavering, erratic or
wishy-washy. You'd much prefer to be known as steadfast,
decisive, confident and sure.
Skilled manipulators use this near-universal conditioning
against you every day. For example, how many times has a
salesman asked you, "Are you in a position to make a decision
today?" Once you agree to this proposition, you'll feel pressure
to "make a decision today," and buy the product, even if you
have reservations. After all, if you don't buy, you'd be
indecisive.
But this is not what changing your mind is all about. Changing
your mind means that after thinking about the subject or after
gathering more complete information, you came to a different
conclusion - a better and more informed decision. This is not
being indecisive. It's being logical, prudent and wise.
What would happen if you weren't allowed to change your mind?
You'd be forced to believe the sun revolves around the earth.
Your evolution on every level depends on your ability to
assimilate new information and "change your mind" as to what it
means and how it applies.
Psychologists call the unease you feel when you hold two
conflicting opinions cognitive dissonance. The theory is that
you will be unwilling to simultaneously hold two apparently
contradictory beliefs in your mind and will attempt to modify
one or the other to minimize the dissonance or conflict.
If you told the salesman that "you would be in a position to
make a decision today," and yet, you feel you need more time to
gather additional information and think it through, you are
experiencing dissonance. The skilled salesman will use your
cognitive dissonance to push you to a buying decision today! If
he lets you think it over, you may not make the purchase or may
buy from someone else. Ever buy a new car after talking to only
one dealer?
Imagine what would happen with instances of more deep-seated
beliefs. You think so-and-so is the best candidate, the finest
restaurant or the fastest car. To complicate matters, also
imagine that you are on record as publicly stating that
so-and-so is the best candidate, the finest restaurant or the
fastest car. You have invested your "credibility" in this
belief. What happens when new evidence comes along that
contradicts this deep-seated belief? You immediately discount it.
Not only do you have the dissonance associated with trying to
hold two contradictory beliefs in your mind simultaneously, but,
even worse, if you accept the new idea, that might mean the
first one was WRONG and you've lost your invested credibility!
How would most people handle the situation? Most people don't
like being wrong, so they would either ignore the new idea or,
even worse, come up with all sorts of counter arguments as to
why it's wrong. In extreme cases, they may outright lie to
others and to themselves, just to avoid the cognitive
dissonance. To an independent observer, this appears totally
irrational. To a student of human behavior, it is understandable.
As mystics, we're after the truth. So if it turns out the second
idea is more accurate, serves us better, or is otherwise
superior to the first, we owe it to ourselves and to others to
accept it, at least until a better idea comes along. We may be
forced to utter three words that are even more powerful than "I
changed my mind":
"I was wrong."
Being able to admit a mistake is a sign of humility, which is a
prized mystic virtue. It does not mean you're a doormat or that
you are subservient to somebody else. Changing your mind after
gathering more complete information and thoroughly thinking
things through is a sign of being logical, thorough, thoughtful
and wise. Your prime allegiance is to the truth, regardless of
where it originates.
There is tremendous freedom in uttering these powerful words.
Your cognitive dissonance vanishes. You don't have to expend any
energy defending the idea of "being right." You are free to
pursue the truth without baggage.
Once you get into the habit of allowing yourself to say "I
changed my mind" and "I was wrong," you will experience newfound
freedom. You will have taken 7 powerful steps towards the mystic
virtue of wisdom. You will have also added the foundation of
another mystic virtue: detachment. We will discuss more mystic
virtues in future newsletters.