How Rules Rule Your Life
As we all have values that we live life by, whether we live up
to these values is determined by a series of rules that are
attached to the value. For example, we may value success, and
the rule that we have attached to success is that to be
successful we must earn more than $1,000,000 a year. Another
person may have a rule for success saying that if they wake up
each morning then they are successful. Yet another person may
have a complex web of rules relating to success that ensures
they never are successful by their own rules.
Most of these rules are lodged in our subconscious and we are
never really aware of them on the conscious level. So you can
see that it is incredibly useful for us if we become aware of
these rules. It is even more beneficial for us if we can become
aware of these rules and then change them to ensure we meet our
values.
When changing a rule it is important that you choose rules that
are achievable, but also give you room to grow and move
forwards. So let's start by finding out what some of your rules
are. Write out your rules for each of the following points. You
are writing down what conditions need to be met in order for you
to feel a success, a failure, or so on.
* For success
* For failure
* For being loved
* For being happy
When you have written these down, write out what rules you
would like to have for these. One person I know had this rule
for being happy, "If I wake up each morning able to breath." Now
that's an easy rule to meet isn't it? Many of our rules are
complex, hard to meet and often contradictory.
By defining these rules we can gain a valuable insight into the
way our minds work, which allows us to take control of your
life. If you have the time and inclination, why not write down
some of the rules in other areas of your life too?
Remember also that other people have rules, so when you are
dealing with people their rules apply too. For example, your
partner will have rules for being loved within a relationship,
your boss will have rules for you being successful, and your
children will have rules for you being a good parent and for
their success. If you can find out other peoples rules then you
can use them in your dealings with them to be more fulfilled and
clear in your communication.