Why Some DV Shelters Need To Reconsider Their Policies
As a former resident in many DV shelters across the USA and, a
former staff member, it has become easy to assess why some
shelters' success rate is very low. Furthermore, through
listening to other residents and sharing our mutual concerns, I
have come to the conclusion that the policies in effect in most
DV shelters are unsuitable for DV survivors.
I believe that the originators of DV shelters had the best of
intentions and just by setting up facilities for women and
children to seek haven from the abuser/batterer, they have made
a great contribution to developing awareness and better
understanding of domestic violence. However, as pioneers, they
lacked an appropriate model to follow so they designed their
system based on the only shelters available at the time:
homeless shelters.
Nevertheless, many years have gone by since the inception of DV
shelters and much has been learnt about the particular issues
affecting this specific social group. Yet, most DV shelters are
still following the old model and, some, have even added
characteristics that emulate correctional facilities. In doing
so, they "inadvertendly" keep victimizing DV survivors and
contributing to the "blaming the victim" mentality. Thus,
rendering their system ineffective.
DV survivors are not criminals/inmates.
They are not responsible for the abuse. It is their
abuser/batterer the one that has made a choice to resort to
tyranny and victimization.
DV survivors are not the problem; the abuser/batterer is.
DV survivors deserve to be heard and treated with dignity and
respect regardless of their shortcomings.
DV survivors are not inepts or stupid. They've managed to
survive, haven't they?
Not all DV survivors are mentally ill, alcoholics, or drug
addicts.
DV survivors do not need to be treated like children and/or in
a condescending way. Their abuser did that to them for years.
DV survivors need to be part of the solution and regain control
over their lives and choices.
The current status quo regarding DV survivors vs.
abusers/batterers is one of punishment. Our system and society
expects DV survivors to be the ones to turn their life around,
abandon everything, live in shelters, give up most of their
rights and freedom, instead of the abuser/batterer. In doing so,
we are punishing the victims. These expectations are so
outrageous that they are equivalent to putting rape victims in
jail or prison while letting the rapist run rampant in our
communities.
Therefore, as DV survivors, we have come to the conclusion that
this situation and status quo will perpetuate ad nauseaum unless
we, the affected parties, take control and take action. Thus,
Survivors United Against Domestic Violence (SUADV) was born. We
are certain that just like groups such as MADD, we will make the
big difference regarding this issue. Join us at
http://suadv.org.