I am often reminded of the following true story whenever I encounter a hostile customer or prospect, witness a scene where someone is losing their cool or observe someone getting chewed out for something that they may or may not have done.

No one enjoys being yelled out, cursed at, bullied or manhandled in any form, whether physically or verbally. It does however, happen at times. What options do you have to diffuse the situation? Can you separate yourself from the abusive behavior being directed at you before you lose your cool and strike back? How can you keep your emotions in check so that you might still accomplish your task?

Several years ago, my brother, Jim, a stellar salesman, was attempting to set an appointment with a longtime out-of-state customer. He was unable to reach the man after numerous attempts. He faxed him, he e-mailed him, he left messages, he even mailed him letters, but to no avail. The man would not respond. This went on for weeks. His account soon became delinquent. What now?

It appears that this customer, let's call him Mr. Frank Jones of the Jones Company, was extremely angry about a situation involving a shipment of goods that did not arrive on time and had caused him great inconvenience and loss of revenue. Everyone at Jim's company had attempted everything possible to satisfy the order in a timely manner, but eventually fell victim to considerations beyond their control. They had done everything possible, including regularly communicating with the customer at the time, but things simply did not work out properly.

Jim was concerned. He had known Mr. Jones for a number of years and the Jones Company was a long-term customer of considerable value to his firm. Jim weighed his options and decided that the only thing left to do was to get in his car, make the three hour trip and show up on Mr. Jones' doorstep at 8:00am on the following Monday morning.

Jim pulled up to the parking lot of the Jones Company at 7:50am the following Monday morning, and found Mr. Jones' Mercedes in his regular parking place. He took a deep breath, prayed for a moment and proceeded out the door for the inevitable confrontation with Mr. Jones. Noticing him entering, Sue, the receptionist, promptly got out of her chair to meet him. Jim greeted her and asked to see Mr. Jones. "Ah