No one else will ever REALLY know what it is like to be in your shoes. No matter how much they love you. No matter how much you try to explain or get people to see. There is an internal alchemy that happens for each of us that takes all of our experiences, thoughts, feelings, events and life circumstances and cooks them down into your own unique path, your own philosophy and sense of life purpose...the evolution of your own, personal human journey.

It's true. Belief in a Higher Power aside, where humans are concerned, you are the ONLY one on YOUR path. You are the only one who can go where you are going, ultimately.

Don't let wanting the rest of us to understand (or worse yet, wanting the rest of us to give you permission) deter you from going where you know you need to go. Give us permission not to get it. Maybe we don't get to define YOUR happiness.

Be brave enough to be willing to defy our attempts to define you. Be willing to transcend our categories for you even when you mystify and frustrate and confuse us. Our confusion is not your problem.

What I am saying to you is not a small thing. Some of you may be feeling REALLY uncomfortable right now and some of you are hoping against hope that I am just some woo woo flip chip dishing out New Age rah rah "follow your bliss, do what you love and the money will follow" slogans.

Nothing could be farther from the truth.

I'm consciously embracing my own human journey. Including coming to terms with my mortality and the mortality of those I love more than I have words for. Some days that really bites. Some days it's bliss. Somedays I'm in my game, money is flowing, birds are singing and all is well with the world. Some days a big boulder or 6 blocks up the flow and I get anxious and neurotic and lose faith in myself and feel like a big old sham. But I know enough to stay on the path because there really is no where else to go (unless I want to convince myself that nothing really means anything and my highest state is all about hitting a rockin' clearance sale at TJ Maxx and having a home with curb appeal.)

If you made it this far in this article, I'll assume you aren't married to those superficial values any more than I am (although I certainly love a good sale from time to time). So, lets just be honest.

This is a difficult journey we are on.

It is inevitable that you will feel pain. You will feel misunderstood. You will question whether life balance really exists for anyone and whether you are capable of experiencing lasting happiness, particularly in relationships and career. It is inevitable that even the closest, dearest people to you WILL disappoint you. (They are the ONLY ones on THEIR paths, after all, so there HAVE to be times when you are out of sync with each other.) It is impossible that anyone else will ever feel the full ramifications of what it means for YOU to be fully, completely human in this life. No matter what, you are the ONLY one who will know your WHOLE story.

The question is, are you willing to immerse yourself in this story you are creating? Not everyone is. In fact, I think most are not, I am very, very saddened to say. Are you willing to really feel every delicious, rapturous, painful, awesome, challenging, inspiring, boring, frustrating, catastrophic, delightful, frightening, humbling and passionate experience so that YOU will know YOU were here and what it meant to be YOU...here...now...in this place in history...in this place in the world...in this particular body with all it's flaws...in this family...in this career...in this life?

Have you created the space for yourself to pay attention?

There are so many books and coaches and tips and tricks out there to help people de-clutter, organize, become more efficient, meet more goals more quickly...do the bigger-better-faster-more thing so we can have it ALL and look good doing it. Lots of folks take a really intense pride in being able to multi-task at levels that leave their peers in awe. (hey, I was one of them) The busier the better. World needs savin'? No problem, I'll get right on that!

(Let's face it: There are folks who won't have made it this far in this article because reading this just takes too darn long. We've become addicted to sound bites and bullet points so we can live our lives like one never ending series of hit-and-run accidents.)

I am continually amazed by how often I observe people adding to their lives. It's as though as soon as 1/2 hour opens up (yeah, right) that an hour's worth of commitments are made to fill it. There are times it appears that some folks have developed an aversion to having space in their lives. It is simply WAY too uncomfortable.

Now, some of that may be pure conditioning. We get used to running at a certain level, so we do. We just can't sit still when given the chance. You try, and you think you want to, but in 5 minutes you jump up, "oh, just let me return that phone call real quick." "Let me just toss that load of laundry in." It IS uncomfortable to be still if you are used to running all the time.

There's nothing wrong with you if that is that case, it's just what your body has been trained to do and it will take conscious effort and a willingness to be uncomfortable to change this habit.

Some of this may be avoidance, however. If I spend all my time making sure that everyone is happy, settled, doing the 'right' things on THEIR paths (according to me and my infinite wisdom regarding what will be in THEIR best interest now and in THEIR future), then I can be blissfully unaware of my own stuff. I can't really pay attention to my own life if I'm filling it with YOURS! (Think about this, do people REALLY drive just as well when they are talking on the phone at the same time? They honestly think they are! It's the same thing...am I really living MY life in the best possible way if my eye is always on everyone else's choices?)

Seek Mastery in YOUR life. Master what it means to be YOU...fully and completely. Explore every nook and cranny of your complex, unique gifted self. Because no one else has walked your path no one else can give your world what you can.

Martha Graham said it so beautifully:

There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening, that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and will be lost.

Laura Young is a personal development and business coach. She is a contributing author to A Guide to Getting It: Purpose and Passion and Become Your Own Great and Powerful: A Woman's Guide to Leading a Real, Big Life. She has recently been featured on By, For and About Women and Artists First Radio. To learn more about her, visit http://www.wellspringcoaching.com

To visit Laura's blog, visit http://antwatching.blogspot.com