MAJOR NEW NATIONAL HOLIDAY: Write-to-Your Father's Day
Copyright 2006 Cole's Poetic License
One week before Father's Day.
Father's Day, that once a year tribute to Dad, is fraught with
confusion. Many offspring pay no more than lip service to it
through phone calls or commercial cards.
Because 70% of U.S. prisoners grew up without a father and
because poets use few words to get to the heart of things, they
encourage brief hand-written communication to all fathers
whether or not they live with you, whether or not they are still
living. Therefore, three poets in San Luis Obispo, California
added Write-to-Your-Father's Day to the calendar of U.S.
National Holidays.
"Okay," you might ask, "What do I write to my Dad? 'I love you'
would be a lie and the truth would just hurt him."
One of the poets answers "Simply write and ask your father what
he does or did that is 1. Most enjoyable, 2 Most scary, 3. Most
exciting and 4. Most satisfying.
Don't expect an answer. If you don't know where he is, write his
answer as you imagine it. Repeat the question each year, adding
to it briefly when you desire.
There will be results. Risk them."
HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW YOUR FATHER?
Take the following survey to see where you fall on the scale.
"How well do you know your father on a scale of one to ten, with
one standing for "Who?" and ten for 'very well'?"
Who?1___2___3___4___5___6___7___8___9___10 Very well
In a survey of 100 random adults,
11 chose 10, 7 chose 9, 15 chose 8, 12 chose 7, 3 chose 6, 3
chose 5, 17 chose 4, 9 chose 3, 13 chose 2, 10 chose 1
The younger the respondent, the more likely he or she asked,
"Which father?"
One comment, typical of many, came by email. An adult son wrote,
"Both my bio dad and step dad are gone from this earth. And I
never really knew either one. They were men troubled all their
lives and suffered John Wayne Syndrome."
Another: "What an interesting question. I neither knew my father
nor my father-in-law despite years with them."
The National "Write-to-your-Father's Day" one week before
Father's Day encourages an end to silent suffering, to John
Wayne syndromes, to bitterness and loneliness.
Writing letters to fathers whether or not they are still alive,
whether or not there's a known address, changes the writer for
the better. And delivered letters change the fathers.
Here's one that came by email. This writer didn't ask his father
the suggested questions. Because he was one of the few that
chose number ten on the scale, he felt that he knew the answers.
Feel what happened, though, when he wrote to his long dead
father:
"Dear Dad,
How is the weather down there? I know it must be particularly
hot this time of year. I was asked by someone how well I know my
father. I know you well enough to know that if they have an air
conditioning concession down there, then you have total
distribution rights and you have by now probably cornered the
market on ice cream as well.
And that's good, Dad; I know you had a hell of time on earth
especially during the time that you and I were alive
simultaneously. I know it wasn't easy being the blind black
sheep of a family of Mississippi plantation owners. I guess if
anything confused me growing up, it was how you could hold two
opposing views on things like skin color.
I should tell you I have done most of the things that you tried
to teach me not to do, most of which you were doing too, but
would never admit it, being a hypocrite's hypocrite in a land of
champion hypocrites. That is one of the few things that you told
me not to do that I have been relatively successful at.
I am sorry it took me so long to write. If the poets had come up
with their "Write Your Father" holiday earlier, I would have
written you sooner.
I hope you do OK down there. I know it is probably too hot for
you to throw those tantrums you used to throw when I would
demonstrate my extreme absentmindedness. I have not gotten any
better by the way. Remember how you used to call me all those
names wrapped in epithets when I would forget something?
Well, I tell you what, Dad. If you can forgive my
absentmindedness, I will forgive you your tantrums. Let's call
it even. I love you as much as you loved me, Dad, and you know
that is more than zero.
Wishing you a hell of a time, Your son"
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When a son knows his father's love is more than zero, he knows
something truly significant no matter how late he discovers it.
When all of us recognize the role of our fathers in our
subconscious thoughts about ourselves, we gain greater control
of our lives.
Help spread the word: Write-to-Your-Father's Day is one week
before Father's Day. In 2006 it will be June 11.
The more you know your father, the better you know yourself.