Reclaim your Dragon
It's hard to fix a problem when we don't know its cause. Yet,
when it comes to relationship issues, we might be reluctant to
look at the cause. Maybe we get scared about what we might find
out. Maybe we blame ourselves and wonder if there is something
awful about us, just because something goes really wrong on one
of our dates ;).
Basic human nature is essentially good. Throughout history, most
bad stuff was done by people who believed they were right. They
may have been crazy to think that, but they at least convinced
themselves that they were right - despite how awful they might
have felt about it later.
Very few people do bad things knowing that is what they are
doing and are able to feel good about it. The fact is that we
feel bad about doing bad, because we are essentially good. We
feel good about doing good also, because we are essentially
good. That makes sense, right?
Yet, there can be this nagging doubt. Maybe there is a bit of us
that doesn't always want to do good. Maybe we are trying to keep
this part in check and that makes us wonder whether the part of
us that wants to be bad is the 'real us'. I call this the part
of myself The Dragon because it almost feels like that is what
But, remember in myths and stories the Dragon sits on a 'hoard
of gold'. The 'gold' symbolizes the gifts The Dragon offers us.
However, it is not so much in the form of outer riches. It is
immense inner wealth that The Dragon offers - when we learn how
to relate to it in the right way.
When we deny The Dragon inside us we deny its wealth too. We
have his hoard of gold inside us yet it inaccessible and becomes
useless to us. This makes us 'needy' of other people. It can
make is too dependent on others for nourishment and support. We
end of 'sucking' on others when we really would rather feel more
How can we tap in to the power of The Dragon?
The Dragon lives in a 'cave', so first we have to go to that
cave. We need to pull back from the world a little and go on an
'inner quest'. This inner quest leads us to the sources of
nourishment inside ourselves.
This does not mean we have to change a thing in the outer world.
We can still do the laundry, do our email, talk to people, hold
down our job and so on.
What is means is that we stop 'leaning' on other people so much.
When we feel 'needy' and 'wanting' of someone rather than doing
the usual things (whatever they are for you) we pull back and
wait a little bit.
We just let ourselves be 'needy' for a while and see where that
inwardly leads us rather than looking for answers outside. The
feeling will take us to a sense of something we want. We may
think we know what we want already, but if we follow that
feeling - in that moment - we may find that what we really want
At first we might find a certain amount of anger inside of us,
or even an a lot of rage, and our Dragon may need to 'blow fire'
for a while till it it ready to quiet down a bit.
If we kindly ask ourselves 'Why do I want that?' even to the
most obvious wants we get deeper into our inner cave. We may
find that what we really want is covered by things believe we
'should' want, rather than what we actually want.
This one of the golden gifts The Dragon offers you: the simple
truth about the unexpressed feelings about what we really want.
Later it also begins to offer you the abilities to make things
happen, but first you must accept the truth. It does not work
the other way around. Your abilities only arise as you truly
accept your need of them.
Once we have a sense of what we truly want, we can then hold
that feeling. We can hold it as if is something precious, for
that is what it truly is. It is part of us. It is not something
we ought to discard, or get rid of as soon as possible -
tempting as that may be... It is important to hold the feeling
rather than trying to escape from it. When we hold the feeling
we can use it as fuel to do the inner part of creating what we
We can then start to move to the feeling of, 'What would it be
like to have that need met?'. What would it really feel like.
Where would we be? What would be the look on our face?
As we hold in ourselves how it will feel to have that need met
something very interesting happens. It awakens in us the
creativity, the ideas and the things we need to do to make it
happen. It may be that later we want to visualize, and write or
say affirmations to reinforce this process.
We may get ideas of courses we want to take, books we want to
read, places we want to go and so on. We can later explore
theses things and see where they take us. They may take us to
either a fulfillment of a need, or a deeper sense of what we
need. Both are good. For it is not about running away from our
needs, but of being able to be with them.
"What is different?", you may wonder. Well, rather than this
being an outer desperate search it is an inner quiet search.
Yes, this can lead to outer action, but the action then comes
from a sense of creating rather than sense of desperation. We
are standing on our own two feet and moving without such a sense
of wanting to lean on others.
When we connect with our deepest needs we often find that we
have the resources inside ourselves to meet them and don't
really 'need' other people as much as we thought. We then have
more to give. And, guess what happens? Other people pick up on
that. Does that make us more attractive? You bet it does!
In doing this we transform the consuming fire of The Dragon into
a life giving force that helps bright light and warmth into our
lives. We find that our needs our really precious gems that lead
us to knowing ourselves better. We find that we have previously
untapped gifts, skills and abilities that help us improve our
own lives and the lives of those around us.
When we stop earnestly searching for what we want 'out there' we
can then start searching inside ourselves. That leads us to the
resources we already have inside us to create a deeper and more
fulfilling life. The ancient sages have said it for a long time
- well, from ancient times at least - that the answers are
inside us. Maybe they are right and we ought to give it a try.
Maybe then we will attract the one we are looking for, or
perhaps even find we don't really need them so much as we
thought. After all we have a The Dragon to take care of and The
Dragon is taking care of us...