The other day a friend of mine received a rather strange Email Marketing message. What made it even more odd was that this was the second time he had received the identical type of message in just a few weeks.
When he told what the Email message said the hair on the back of my neck started to crawl. I got a little freaked out. Was something from the metaphysical trying to send a message to my friend via these emails?
What else could be the reason for such a strange Email Marketing message?
I, being the Internet snoopy pants that all my friends know me to be, decided I had to find out. Like all good Internet detectives I started from the beginning.
Duplicate Freaky Email Marketing Message Investigation Step One:
I had to know if my friend subscribed to these Email lists. Thinking the answer would surely be no based on the oddity of the email messages, I was shocked to find out he had indeed subscribed to these lists.
So, my case of the Duplicate Freaky Email Marketing message had a beginning - Opt In Email Marketing.
Duplicate Freaky Email Marketing Message Investigation Step Two:
I thought it would be prudent to find out who owned these Email Marketing lists. I pondered the possibility that there might just be some connection to the metaphysical with the Email list owners. Who knows - maybe the late Cory Rudl had decided heaven was too boring without an Internet and decided to return and was starting out by sending my friend these messages.
-The first Email list belonged to a person who claimed to know everything in the known universe about Pinging Blogs.
-The other list belonged to a person who is quite well known in the informational Internet marketing community. (Translation selling e-books, online courses and other related stuff like that.)
Well, I found no sign of Cory Rudl trying to send my friend a message. There did not seem to be a connection with the owners and the metaphysical. I moved on.
Duplicate Freaky Email Marketing Message Investigation Step Three:
Since I did not receive the Email Marketing messages myself I knew I needed to see them just to make sure my friend was relating the information to me correctly. Who knows maybe his new pair of glasses had the wrong prescription in them or something. I had to make sure what he told me was actually true.
This is where I still get a little freaked out, even after having had intense hypno-therapy, with the nature of these Email Marketing messages.
Two separate Email Marketing messages from two separate list owners told my friend to:
'Get off his ass'
Just so you believe me here is an excerpt from one of the Email Marketing messages:
I want to encourage you to: get out of your house, get out of your head, get out of your chair, get off your ass
and get out from in front of the screen and see what the real millionaires in this business are really up to.
OK, so both the emails actually said 'get off your ass'. I concluded the reference was not to a farmer who was sitting on a donkey.
Duplicate Freaky Email Marketing Message Investigation Step Four:
I thought long and hard about the implications of two un-related Email Marketing messages, from two separate Email list owners, sending the same message.
Could these Email Marketing messages be a sign of direction from a metaphysical being who thought my friend was lazy? Were these messages an attempt to encourage my friend to, well, 'get off his ass' and seek another activity?
Since I had already found no direct link with the list owners and the metaphysical I knew I needed help. Having no connection myself to any such metaphysical element I determined a psychic would probably be the best bet for an answer.
Madame Emael was, well, a little unconventional in her approach.
1. I told her my story.
2. She got out her crystal ball chanted a few things that sounded a lot like 'Buy Google Stock' and then burst into gales of laughter.
3. She invited me to stay for the rest of the day and meditate with her.
4. Because I really cared about my friend and knew I was getting close to the answer I agreed to stay.
5. I found out her version of meditating was scoping around the Internet via Google until my eyes were swollen and hanging out of their sockets. Regardless, I do think that after 10 hours of surfing I was definitely in the alpha state.
Madame Emael told me tales of wonder and awe that day as we zipped around the Internet. I also solved the case of the Duplicate Freaky Email Marketing Message.
Were beings from the metaphysical sending my friend the message to - 'get off his ass' because he was lazy?
Madame Emael let me in on a secret.
My friend had experienced what is becoming quite common - Receiving offensive Email Marketing messages that cross the line. Is there a lesson to be learned here?
"Get off your ass"
Is something you tell your lazy brother in law who thinks 'helping you move' means drinking beer and flirting with the moving truck driver.
You don't give your Email list members the message that they are lazy.
I got back to my friend and told him his near metaphysical experience was a hoax. He told me he was considering un-subscribing from the Blog and Ping guy's Email Marketing list as he was rather offended by the 'ass email' incident. He has decided to give the other list owner another chance.
I guess that is what happens when someone crosses the line with Email Marketing - we take out our crystal ball and chant something that sounds a lot like
'did that guy just say I was...'
And ask the metaphysical gods if we should press the unsubscribe button.
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Copyright Joan Pasay - 2005