Ring ring . . .

Potential Buyer (PB): Hello

Cold Caller (CC): Is this Peter Miller?

PB: Yes, who is this?

CC: Hi, this Amy of XYZ Company. How are you?

PB: OK, what is this about?

CC: Do you want to know about a totally safe way of increasing your net worth by 200% in less than 10 years? We have an absolutely unique product you certainly have never heard of. I am sure you must be interested in that. Here is how it works . . .

Do you ever get calls like this? If they annoy you at least half as much as they annoy us, then you have a good idea of what we are talking about.

A few days ago, I found an online forum with a list of possible responses that could help you get rid of irritating callers in no time. Here are some of our favorites:

If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to know?" Alternatively, you can tell them, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, etc." When they try to get to the sell, just keep talking about your problems.

Cry out in surprise, "Amy, IS that you? Oh my God, Amy, how have you been?" Hopefully this will give Amy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where the heck she could know you from.

Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD DOWN.

If a female telemarketer calls your boyfriend's house ask her just why she's calling, act like you can "see right through this stupid cover-up!" and harass her for "secretly seeing" your boyfriend. Don't stop until she hangs up, or threatens to report you.

What is it that annoys us so much about these calls?

Lack of respect: Most cold callers (CCs) don