Use Your Mental Mouse
Have you ever wished you could take your computer mouse with you
into your off-line life? When you're looking for a parking space
near that new restaurant, wouldn't you like to pull down a menu
of options and click on "find a spot 2 blocks away"? When you
realize you have just introduced your spouse to your colleague
Justin Case but called him the wrong name, don't you wish you
could just highlight the whole transaction and delete it?
Well, I contend that you actually have a "Mental Mouse" which
you can learn to use to your great advantage. Here are some
ideas to spark your imagination.
SAVE
Often the answers to our challenges are visible to us, but they
flit by so quickly that we hardly notice them. They occur to us
in the form of fleeting ideas or images, which we may not even
register. Or we dismiss or disregard them. This needs to change.
Harvesting images and ideas that are vibrant and compelling can
be a critical step in moving forward in our lives. Capturing
them for later consideration can make a difference.
Here's what to do. When one of these images appears, use your
Mental Mouse and click "save." This is your way of saying to
yourself, "This is a compelling idea. I will remember it." As
soon as you can, jot it down on a piece of paper, or write it to
a computer file. Do this regardless of whether it's practical,
realistic, reasonable or whether it passes any of your other
requirements for an idea "worth keeping."
Now it's saved. You can look at it later. Many of these images
come from your intuition or your inner wisdom. They are worthy
of your consideration. Some you will reject, but others can lead
you deeper into the life you dream of.
EMPTY YOUR RECYCLE BIN
My computer misbehaved several days in a row recently. When I
asked my Computer Wizard about it, he told me he told me to see
if my recycle bin needed to be emptied. The truth? I had
completely forgotten about the recycle bin. When I looked, I was
appalled to find probably a year's worth of "deleted" files.
HAHA! They weren't deleted REALLY. I used my mouse to empty that
recycle bin, and got rid of those files once and for all! My
computer once again became docile, servile, and even perhaps a
bit ingratiating.
What a great metaphor! How often do we do this in our lives? We
THINK we've gotten rid of something because we've "deleted" it,
that is, removed it from view. But it lurks!! It is still really
there for us, below daily consciousness, waiting to be called
back into service, eating up our energy, zapping our memory,
using up precious creative and productive juice.
What's in your personal recycle bin? It could be an ancient,
obsolete image of yourself that you are still fighting, say as a
sloppy 6-year-old, even though your work is meticulous, your
reputation is sterling, and your personal appearance and home
are impeccable. I have worked with affluent clients at midlife
who still carried with them an image of themselves living
hand-to-mouth as they had in their younger years. These outgrown
images of yourself can be emptied! They are not serving you.
Ditto for the "I should have's": I should have gone to medical
school. I should have married the other guy. I should never have
left South Dakota. These may be serious hints about actions you
need to take to make your present life better - in which case,
take the actions: make a move into a science career, or just
start taking some courses. Get clear what's missing in your
marriage and enroll your partner in creating it with you.
Identify what you miss about South Dakota and find it where you
are. Or visit South Dakota and remind yourself why you left! But
let go of the "should have's." They are big time energy thieves.
What's lurking in your recycle bin? Grab the hand of a trusted
friend and go have a look. Use your mental mouse to let go of
what you no longer need.
DETACH
I recently wrote an email and attached a file to send with it.
By mistake I attached the wrong file. So I detached that file
and attached the correct one. I was struck with how easy it was!
When you're stuck in a traffic jam, stressing out because you're
late for a meeting, wouldn't you like to click "detach" and just
release all of that tension? You actually can, by using your
Mental Mouse and choosing to detach from this and other
attachments (to a particular outcome) that are not serving you
well.
Have you ever had to work on a project with someone you just
don't like? Or someone who doesn't seem to like you? This can be
difficult, especially if you have high needs for connection or
being appreciated. You have obviously already clicked "attach"
earlier in the process, or you wouldn't be so invested in
creating a particular outcome: people liking each other. But the
truth is, once you're aware of what you're doing, you can
mentally click "detach," and support yourself to be okay with
whatever the outcome is. This actually leaves you freer to do
your best work.
Notice when you are stressing out. Use your Mental Mouse and
detach.
COACHING TIPS:
1. Play with the idea of a Mental Mouse.
2. Stop and take notice when you wish you could "click."
3. Identify the human action you need to take.
4. Take that action.
If you're considering hiring a coach to help you with challenges
like using your Mental Mouse, contact me at sharon@stcoach.com
for an initial consultation at no charge.
Copyright 2003 Sharon Teitelbaum. All rights reserved.