The Magic of the Unknown: Personal Transformations
I read recently that during a caterpillar's metamorphosis into a
butterfly, there is a period of time when inside the cocoon,
there is, simply, "a sticky yellow mess."
In her landmark book, Composing a Life, Mary Catherine
Bateson looks at the lives of several extraordinary people. In
tracing their personal and professional transitions, she
documents how their changes only "made sense" to them in
retrospect, years later. At the time, their actions and
decisions felt to them like they were stepping out into the
unknown, into murky and unfamiliar waters.
The process of creating a new chapter in your life can be messy
and unsettling. It may not be a linear process. You probably are
not simply choosing a destination and then charting a course, as
you might have at another time in your life. This may be a
different kind of journey, one that requires you to learn new
ways of navigating, deeper levels of self-trust, and higher
standards of authentic expression. It also holds the possibility
for surprise, for unexpected treasure, for magic.
I know one person whose current transition, a midlife journey,
began with yearnings to be alone, which puzzled her, as she had
always been highly social and an activist. Spending time alone
seemed strange and suspect to her, yet she was undeniably drawn
in that direction. When she trusted herself and allowed herself
to spend time in solitude on a regular basis, she discovered the
joys and deep gifts of silence, stillness, and contemplation.
This practice nourished her creativity and inspired a series of
writing projects that she is very excited about. Now, it "makes
sense" to her that she would be writing at this stage in her
life. But the actual impulse, the thing that attracted her, was
solitude, which "made no sense" to her at all.
Coaching tips:
1. Trust yourself to go toward what truly calls to you. Take a
step in that direction. Look around. In this new landscape, you
may see things that were not visible to you before you took this
step. Listen for feedback, internal and external. The feedback
holds clues to your next step.
2. Enjoy the adventure!
3. Read Composing a Life, by Mary Catherine Bateson.
If you're considering hiring a coach to help you with challenges
like these, contact me at sharon@stcoach.com for an initial
consultation at no charge.
Copyright 2003, Sharon Teitelbaum. All rights reserved.