The Back Burner
My clients say the best things! Last year, while naming some of
the things on his "back burner," one of my clients said, "I'm
just afraid some of these things are on the back burner of
someone else's stove!" We both laughed in recognition of this
truth.
Once we're past our 30's, we see how quickly time flies, and how
easy it is to get so caught up in the rush and tingle of
everyday life that we forget some of our commitments to
ourselves. We put something on the back burner, and it can be
YEARS until we notice it back there. If we notice it at all.
One of the perks that midlife offers is the chance to revisit
what we've postponed in our lives. Yes, midlife often brings
chaos and angst, which forces us to step back and re-asses our
priorities and values. And it also brings us face to face with
the things we've postponed until now.
And now there are choices to be made, item by item. Do you keep
"have a garden" on your "someday maybe" list or do you decide to
truck in some decent soil THIS SPRING and grow some tomatoes
already? Do you finally start making more time for friends, or
do you stay committed to your adrenaline-laced schedule that
keeps you on the run? These are the kinds of choices that come
up to the conscious level at midlife.
COACHING TIPS:
So what's on your back burner? Here are some suggestions for
investigating this question.
1. Start a running list of the things you have on your back
burner. It may take you up to a month to remember all of what's
back there.
2. For each one, name the pleasures or satisfactions it would
afford you.
3. Which would be the most rewarding one to finally DO?
4. Do you have resistance to doing it? If so, articulate it.
(You know, "I don't have the time, I don't have the money, I'm
not fill-in-the-blank enough, what would people say, etc." )
5. Respond to the resistance, line by line, as if you were a
compassionate friend who wants you to have what your heart longs
for.
6. Choose at least one thing from the list to bring into your
life.
7. Identify the next step toward having it, and write in into
your active "To Do" list.
If you're considering hiring a coach to help you with challenges
like these, contact me at sharon@stcoach.com for an initial
consultation at no charge.
COPYRIGHT 2003, Sharon Teitelbaum. All rights reserved.