Cancer & Caregivers; Part of a series of Positive Attitudes for Cancer.

Battling Cancer is an individual journey that takes all of heaven and earth to combat.

Choose your caregivers well:

Your Caregiver walks a fine line between reality, support cheerleader, hand holder, master "hugger" and "inspiration machine", and friend, who must give that medicine, drives you to treatment, and fusses at you to keep you on track for your healing journey.

Your Cancer caregiver is your primary filter and monitor of your visitors, both family and friends. They should only allow POSITIVE PEOPLE!!! and ONLY people who are emotionally nourishing for you.

YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT!

They should encourage you to be surrounded by individuals who treat as if you are living and expect you to have a future. No "what if'ers,' no "maybe that won't work", or "oh you poor dear", or any others who say negative things.

If ANYONE ever says to you "before you were living with cancer, now you're dying with cancer."

Remove them from your life until they can be respectful and empathetic! Not only are they unable to determine your death, they are also unkind to make a remark like this.

If they say to you, "I was just making a realistic statement so you won't be in denial and we can address your will, funeral plans, and future provisions." FORGET THAT justification!!!!! NO ONE who truly cares about your heart and soul, would ever say anything like that.

Do not be so needy for attention, that you allow yourself to be the "victim" of comments that are TOTALLY inappropriate!! no matter how sick you are. As long as there is breath in your body, you have the right to be treated with respect and dignity, and as if you are going to live!!!

Family members as Caregivers:

If you have spent your life helping others, and enabling them, it's time to stop that energy drain. This does NOT mean that you do not love them anymore. It means that you care enough about yourself to take care of you FIRST, so that you can be around in the future to help them.

Non-healing: 1. "But he's my brother and he just drinks a little too much, and he wants to come visit"..... His energy will drain you!!! Visit with him when you are healed!

2. At this time, YOU do NOT need to hear their problems. They need to support you!

Friends as Caregivers:

There are several kinds of friends during this time in your life. The talkers:

They call to see how you are, listen for a short period of time and then spend hours telling you about their life. They ask if they can do anything for you. When you mention that you need a ride to chemo on Thursdays, their answer is, "I'd love to take you, but I have book club." Do not be discouraged. This person is interested enough to call, but NOT authentic about truly helping you or they would have taken you to chemo