Relationships are challenging at the best of times. Sometimes they have a tendency to make us feel like we're drowning in quicksand. The initial chemical reaction ends with the realities of life, complete with life's challenges blasting to the forefront.

You've been with your girl/guy for a couple of years and everything was great.

This was the "one!"

Marriage and happily-ever-after was on the blissful horizon.

Next - the spark vanishes and you've lost touch with one another. Work stress now occupies the front page of your home life.

"I had a tough day at the office" replaces "Honey, I'm home."

You've discussed the negative developments and decide that you need to work on your relationship.

You wonder: Can your relationship survive?

This is an unpleasant place to find oneself. Do you stay or do you go?

Your relationship is splintering apart and the splinters are sticking in places that cause the most pain. You don't want to give up on the 'time' spent.

First off: Don't do anything rash. Look at yourself first. Maybe you have some life issues and are not in a position to give your relationship the time and attention that it deserves.

Unfortunately for a lot of people, of both genders, they are looking for someone to save them from the world and our sometimes-marginal family upbringings. Insecurities lead us to get into serious relationships (serious means done) at the wrong time. We tend to be weak and before we have our own life sorted out, we bring someone else into the mess hoping their support and stability will give us something we never had growing up.

Unless they are insecurity-free or dysfunction-less it eventually will break down. The relationship has no rock.

So, what do you do?

First off, take your work stress off the evening agenda. We all have stress at work.

Try to spark things up by changing routine. If you are met with resistance, avoid getting confrontational. Take it as a sign. Life is meant to be lived.

And most importantly, stop working on your relationship. Working on a relationship sounds like a competition to see who can become more caring, compassionate, sexual, taller etc.

Newsflash - discussing the negative developments are a waste of time. Screw the negative. If you have the desire to save your relationship, try discussing the positive.

If you discuss the positives, life will be much sweeter.

If your sweetie doesn't want to participate and only wants to focus on the negatives, your decision will become crystal clear.

Lindsay Wincherauk is a co-author of the critically acclaimed book: Seed's Sketchy Relationship Theories - A Guide to the Perils of Dating (How not to become a bar regular).

For more info visit http://www.seedenterprises.com