Managing Worry: Productivity Tips for High Achievers Who Worry
Are you a worrier? Do you frequently spend time and energy
worrying about your finances, your children, your career, world
politics? Worry can be a highly useful, brilliantly engineered
cue to action or a useless and destructive energy drain. The
challenge is to decide which it is, on a case-by-case basis, and
manage yourself accordingly.
Here is a quick and dirty, but highly effective way to manage
your worrying habit.
1. Learn to recognize when you are worrying.
This takes practice. You may not recognize yourself worrying
until you've been at a particular worry for days or weeks. But
whether you catch yourself in the first minute or the first
month, the most important step is recognizing the pattern. You
can develop your "witness" over time and become more proficient
in noticing when you are worrying.
2. Determine if something needs to be done.
Ask yourself, "Is the worry a cue to action?"
For example, if you are worried that your toddler will get lead
paint poisoning from the lead paint on your windows, there is
indeed something that needs to be done. You need to get the lead
paint removed from your windows. And keep your child well
supervised in the meantime.
If you don't know whether or not something needs to be done,
find out. You need to get more information - THAT's what needs
to happen.
3. If something needs to be done, get it done as soon as
possible.
Often just deciding to take the action can loosen worry's grip
on you. But it's critical that you follow through - take that
action as soon as it is feasible.
Call the state agency that deals with lead paint removal and get
the names of contractors who do that kind of work. Get moving
with hiring and scheduling a contractor. Call your pediatrician
and get advice about how to protect your child during the
removal process and follow up on every detail.
4. If nothing needs to be done, release the worry.
If the lead paint removal is scheduled, your child is adequately
supervised, and you're following all of the pediatrician's
instructions, there is nothing more to be done. Your job in this
case is to re-focus your attention elsewhere.
For most people, relinquishing the worry is the hardest part. If
you generally let worry run unchecked, you know that it's a very
greedy energy that will take as much of your attention as you
let it. It will reduce your effectiveness and productivity. Some
serious boundary setting with yourself is required here.
Experiment with the following strategy. In your mind, respond to
the worry with something like this: "Thank you for sharing. I
appreciate your concern (this is important). But there is
nothing more to be done right now, so I'm going to stop thinking
about this." Then get yourself to focus on something else - find
something else compelling and engaging to think about. You might
line up some contenders in advance. Just about anything that
works for you will do.
Sooner or later, the worry will return. Repeat steps 1 through 4
as needed. This is an iterative process. Hang in there!
Here is a short list of some of the worries that my clients have
learned to deal with more effectively:
- Personal finances. My client regularly pictured
herself as a bag lady, penniless and homeless, despite her
current (and past) circumstances, which were nothing of the
sort. The action that was called for was to develop a strong and
detailed financial plan with an expert.
- Global warming. My client, a self-proclaimed
"tree-hugger and dirt worshipper" was sick at heart and
frequently anxious about global warming. The action called for
was to get involved with conservation and political action
organizations.
- Career. For one of my clients who worried she was
failing in her current job, the solution was to identify where
she needed to improve her performance, and to get training in
that arena. Another career-anxious client determined there was
no action required. She learned to respond to the angst by
listing for herself the ways she was effective in her work; this
activity served to change her state of mind.
Do you need help figuring out whether a worry merits action or
how to disarm a stubborn worry-habit? Invest in yourself and get
the help you need. Coaching can make a difference. If you're
considering hiring a coach to help you with challenges like
these, contact me at sharon@stcoach.com for an initial
consultation at no charge.