Casanova or Caveman - What His Kissing Style Says About Him
In "Do Women Really Relate Sex To Dancing, "I wrote that whether
men are aware of it or not, a majority of women judge a man's
love potential by the way he moves his body alone. And judging
by the personal experience responses that I received, it seems
that many people agree with me that passionate dance moves also
say passionate lover.
But can we also judge a man's love potential just by the way he
kisses? Some women I have spoken to say, yes. They say that if a
man is a "lousy" kisser (either he rushes in full-throttle
practically eating away your face, drools so much you have to
wipe your mouth after being kissed or is very tightlipped and
stingy with his tongue) he will also be lousy in bed. They also
say that a woman should not expect the man who does not want to
kiss, does not seem to enjoy kissing, does not have the desire
to kiss regularly or is centered on his own needs to do "other
things" well. A good kisser, they say, makes for a good lover
because a good kisser is soft, gentle and patient. He pays
attention to the woman's responses, takes his time to find out
what she wants and makes her feel, special, wanted and desired.
But there are other women who say it is fairly shallow to judge
a man only by the way he kisses. A bad kisser could have a
radiant personality and a brilliant mind. Some men, they say,
may be great kissers but are uptight in some areas, bad
communicators or are arrogant and just want to show off their
skill. These women also say some great kissers are good at it
because they have had a lot of practice but are not necessarily
good lovers.
From my own personal experience, I can't honestly say I don't
and have never judged a man by the way he kisses alone. If a man
is a bad kisser, well, that's probably the last time we will see
each other. If his technique is sensuous, rhythmic, creative and
purposeful, I will give him a second chance even if he has a
speech impediment. But if he's selfish, rude, controlling,
immature, talks about himself or only cares about his needs, I
don't care how fantastic he is as a kisser, goodbye!
What makes a man a good love potential is not just his ability
to kiss, but his ability to express himself sexually through
kissing. There is a lot that a tantalizing kiss can communicate
in the all-important area of courtship. And girlfriend, you'll
save yourself all sorts of frustration and heartache just by
making yourself aware of the unspoken messages conveyed just by
the way a kiss is delivered. And guys, if you can master the art
of kissing with inner feeling, you are in a better position to
make a "wow" impression than someone who thinks of kissing just
as away to get a woman between the sheets.
1. Is he comfortable with intimacy? An ace kisser puts his whole
body and emotion into the kiss. He wants to be close. He tells
his affection with plenty of lip-action. Each kiss is a build-up
of the feelings and emotions coming from within and exploding
into your own inner being. You feel desired, wanted and adored.
On the other hand, the man who is uncomfortable with intimacy
will find it difficult to do all the other intimate things that
may not even be sexual per se such as sitting next to you,
holding hands, hugging, and cuddling.
2. Is he sensitive? Yes, he may be burning with desire for you
but he's got to slowly and carefully work you up to the same
speed not wolf down your entire head with his wide open mouth or
shove his tongue so far down the back of your throat that you
practically gasp for air. And if he is slobbering you, he is not
necessarily a bad kisser, and sensitively letting him know might
just save the date. If he is a good man, he'll appreciate your
honesty. If he acts up... let the caveman go.
3. Is he attentive? Can he accurately - well almost - judge
where you are and respond in kind? Kissing is a matter of
personal taste, what one woman likes isn't going to always work
for another. If a man tells you that you will love his kissing
because other women have, chances are he is the
one-size-fits-all type. A genuine Casanova will ask for pointers
when getting to know you and not assume that because he has
kissed other women who liked it, you are going to like it too.
You are not just another woman. You are special.
4. Is he a control freak? Though we women enjoy a man who's in
control, we also want to take charge sometimes. You can tell if
a man is a control freak or not from his willingness to learn
from you; does he sometimes allow himself to sit back, relax and
let you come to him or is he always chasing you with his tongue
and hands.
5. Is he for real? Watch and listen for signs of pleasure. The
man who's taken the time to be affectionate enjoys the kiss just
as much as he enjoys kissing. He is turned on by just being in
your personal space and his passion draws you in. But if your
man is breaking a sweat from the effort (not from chemistry)
he's just doing it to fulfill what he thinks is an obligation.
6. Is he creative and spontaneous? Kissing in the same way for
prolonged periods of time can get really boring and so does
burying his tongue in your mouth and sticking on your lips like
a vacuum. A good kisser teases your senses; he varies style and
pressure using both the smooth and rough side of the tongue,
tickles your neck, whispers in your ear... And kissing isn't
just for the lips only: earlobes, shoulders and all the other
parts that feel good to you.
7. Is he clean? Does he take care of his health and grooming? A
man who thinks of your needs will know that bad breath (very
strong garlic or beer smell when you've had none) can spoil the
mood. Beware of those who cover poor hygiene with so much after
shave or cologne that you can smell him coming before he
arrives. If you can not smell his pheromones, he has on too much
after shave or cologne.
8. Is he just another jerk? Does he kiss like the kiss is an end
in itself? Or is he using it as something he does on the way to
something else (sex)? If a man is grabbing your ass, bra or
front of your pants and trying to find your lips at the same
time, trust me on this one, it's not about the kiss. It's all
about him and his needs.
9. But most importantly are you enjoying the kiss? If you are
not enjoying the kiss then something is just not right. And your
gut will let you know even if your head is trying to tell you
otherwise. A really good kiss should leave you wanting more of
him, not leave you with raw lips or a sore face and a desperate
need to forget what just happened.
One more thing, even bad kissers are trainable. The best way to
help a man open up is simply to be open yourself, be natural, be
real and exude an atmosphere of warmth and acceptance. As it so
happened when Beauty kissed the Beast, some people are
wonderfully transformed when they are kissed. Your Caveman may
be one who needs you to kiss him many, many times. Good luck
with that.