Preventative Action
One day, Cody, my then seven year old son, came bursting into
the house crying hysterically. I was watching TV after having
cleaned up the house a bit while my son and my daughter were out
playing with their friends. I didn't realize my son was playing
with a boy I'd forbade him in the past to play with. I asked him
what was wrong and he said twice that "someone" was outside and
wanted to speak to me. Instinct told me it was the police. Sure
enough, it was, along with the other boy. They both reeked of
smoke.
This other boy is sweet, but he has behavioral problems and has
been caught before starting fires, lighting fireworks and a
plethora of other offenses. Since he was a juvenile, though, the
hands of the police were tied. This boy is twelve years old and
has had brushes with the law for years now. Two years ago, our
sleepy neighborhood became rudely awakened when what started out
as a small fire got swept way out of hand due to a small bomb
this boy set off after school one day. The entire police and
fire departments descended upon our street. One of the fire
trucks had to come down into my yard since the fire was directly
behind my house, and it turned into a huge fire. We all knew who
started it, but no charges were filed since the culprit was a
juvenile (this same boy) and no actual harm was done except to
the field behind my house.
Today, his mother went to another town and told this boy to hang
around their house until she came back home. In our state of
Alabama, the legal age to leave a child alone is thirteen. This
boy actually knocked on our door about two hours prior but my
hands were full and my kids weren't home anyway, so he left when
no one answered. I saw him riding his bike up and down our
street, apparently looking for kids to play with. My kids know
they aren't to play with him, but today, my son "forgot" that
rule. A perfect example of why I don't allow my children to play
with this boy is something that actually happened today: One of
our beagles died last summer, and we buried her behind my yard.
Apparently, we didn't bury her deep enough because this boy, my
son, and the third boy found the dog, picked up the skeleton of
the head, and then proceeded to chase my daughter, her friend,
and the boy's sister up and down our street with it. Needless to
say, that's not the kind of influence I'd like my children
exposed to, nor the company I would like for them to keep.
Not too long afterwards, Roger and I both heard fireworks. That
went on for about an hour or so, but the police were never
called. Then, Cody came bursting into our house.
I found out Cody had lied to the police initially about where
the lighter that was used to start the fire came from. Cody went
into his Nana's house earlier and stole it from her computer
table, and his Nana never saw him. About a month ago, the other
boy asked me for a lighter for an adult to use who he claimed
was waiting for him outside. I do not know how stupid he thought
I was that I'd give him the lighter. I explained why I wouldn't
and he said Yes, Ma'am, and that was that. So today, he
apparently had Cody do his dirty work for him by getting Cody to
get the lighter.
Luckily, the police were called before anything major happened.
They succeeded in starting a fire, but thankfully, it was small.
One of the cops wanted to slam this other kid against my wall. I
would have gladly stood by and watched because I think this kid
needs to be taught a harsh lesson. His mother lets him run
around free to do pretty much whatever he feels like. And then
she takes off into another town that is 10 miles away, leaving
him alone, which was completely irresponsible of her, given his
extensive history with trouble and his passion for the forbidden
flame.
There was a third boy who participated, the same boy Cody stayed
with last night with his parents. I've forbidden Cody to play
with either boy now. All three boys are in trouble, but here's
the question: What can be done about this to prevent this from
happening again? All three of these boys, my son included, have
been in trouble with the police before. We've all been down this
road before. What will it take for these children to learn that
some things one just doesn't do? What will it take before
children realize that they must and will eventually be held
accountable for their choices and actions?
The police wanted to slap cuffs on all three. I said bring it
on. However, they're all too young, and Cody is way too young,
by law, to be held responsible. The other boys at twelve and
thirteen know better.
The police are going to talk to the Chief and see if these boys
can spend their Saturdays at the police station washing fire
trucks and doing other things.
I think they should be made an example of in front of the entire
city of Daleville, Alabama. I think the whole city should see
these boys working, and that they all should know why. I have no
problem with people knowing why my son is being punished. If it
will teach other kids how dangerous some actions are, and how
stupid this whole thing was, then great lessons will be learned.
Hopefully, the Chief will go along with a preventative type of
measure instead of waiting until something like this happens
again and having it be too late.
These children could have been burned, killed, or they could
have burned or killed someone else. One stray gust of wind could
easily have set some of the neighborhood on fire.
The way they are headed now, they're setting themselves up for
bigger crimes, which will result in their lives being ruined
because they failed to follow simple rules set by us - their
parents- and the laws. By letting these children off the hook,
it sets the stage for later disasters, and that's not a chance
I'm willing to take with my children, or anyone else's children.
Why must we always wait until it's too late before we hold our
children accountable? I see more good than harm in having the
police bring these children into the police station. They need
to be taught that what they did was unacceptable and their
behavior needs to be nipped in the bud before they get into
something well above their heads. As a parent, I can only do the
best I can. I refuse to keep my children cooped inside though
because another parent refuses to control her child. I also
believe children should be taught at a young age that their
choices may come with consequences. I just don't want those
consequences to be disastrous. Why not teach them a hard lesson
by showing them what could happen if they were adults? Had they
been adults, they would have been charged with a crime. Why
should the fact that they were children allow them to remain
free? They still did something wrong and they should be held
accountable.
I've only just begun disciplining my son for his role in this. A
simple talking to, grounding and taking away his privileges will
not suffice this time. It's time for tough love, and it's time
to scare these kids silly. But we as a society must take
preventative action to prevent serious occurences later. Apathy
does not work here. And waiting until it's too late is just
that- too late.
I hope that one day soon our fire trucks will be clean and
shiny- washed by the town's new model children.