Preventative Action

One day, Cody, my then seven year old son, came bursting into the house crying hysterically. I was watching TV after having cleaned up the house a bit while my son and my daughter were out playing with their friends. I didn't realize my son was playing with a boy I'd forbade him in the past to play with. I asked him what was wrong and he said twice that "someone" was outside and wanted to speak to me. Instinct told me it was the police. Sure enough, it was, along with the other boy. They both reeked of smoke. This other boy is sweet, but he has behavioral problems and has been caught before starting fires, lighting fireworks and a plethora of other offenses. Since he was a juvenile, though, the hands of the police were tied. This boy is twelve years old and has had brushes with the law for years now. Two years ago, our sleepy neighborhood became rudely awakened when what started out as a small fire got swept way out of hand due to a small bomb this boy set off after school one day. The entire police and fire departments descended upon our street. One of the fire trucks had to come down into my yard since the fire was directly behind my house, and it turned into a huge fire. We all knew who started it, but no charges were filed since the culprit was a juvenile (this same boy) and no actual harm was done except to the field behind my house. Today, his mother went to another town and told this boy to hang around their house until she came back home. In our state of Alabama, the legal age to leave a child alone is thirteen. This boy actually knocked on our door about two hours prior but my hands were full and my kids weren't home anyway, so he left when no one answered. I saw him riding his bike up and down our street, apparently looking for kids to play with. My kids know they aren't to play with him, but today, my son "forgot" that rule. A perfect example of why I don't allow my children to play with this boy is something that actually happened today: One of our beagles died last summer, and we buried her behind my yard. Apparently, we didn't bury her deep enough because this boy, my son, and the third boy found the dog, picked up the skeleton of the head, and then proceeded to chase my daughter, her friend, and the boy's sister up and down our street with it. Needless to say, that's not the kind of influence I'd like my children exposed to, nor the company I would like for them to keep. Not too long afterwards, Roger and I both heard fireworks. That went on for about an hour or so, but the police were never called. Then, Cody came bursting into our house. I found out Cody had lied to the police initially about where the lighter that was used to start the fire came from. Cody went into his Nana's house earlier and stole it from her computer table, and his Nana never saw him. About a month ago, the other boy asked me for a lighter for an adult to use who he claimed was waiting for him outside. I do not know how stupid he thought I was that I'd give him the lighter. I explained why I wouldn't and he said Yes, Ma'am, and that was that. So today, he apparently had Cody do his dirty work for him by getting Cody to get the lighter. Luckily, the police were called before anything major happened. They succeeded in starting a fire, but thankfully, it was small. One of the cops wanted to slam this other kid against my wall. I would have gladly stood by and watched because I think this kid needs to be taught a harsh lesson. His mother lets him run around free to do pretty much whatever he feels like. And then she takes off into another town that is 10 miles away, leaving him alone, which was completely irresponsible of her, given his extensive history with trouble and his passion for the forbidden flame. There was a third boy who participated, the same boy Cody stayed with last night with his parents. I've forbidden Cody to play with either boy now. All three boys are in trouble, but here's the question: What can be done about this to prevent this from happening again? All three of these boys, my son included, have been in trouble with the police before. We've all been down this road before. What will it take for these children to learn that some things one just doesn't do? What will it take before children realize that they must and will eventually be held accountable for their choices and actions? The police wanted to slap cuffs on all three. I said bring it on. However, they're all too young, and Cody is way too young, by law, to be held responsible. The other boys at twelve and thirteen know better. The police are going to talk to the Chief and see if these boys can spend their Saturdays at the police station washing fire trucks and doing other things. I think they should be made an example of in front of the entire city of Daleville, Alabama. I think the whole city should see these boys working, and that they all should know why. I have no problem with people knowing why my son is being punished. If it will teach other kids how dangerous some actions are, and how stupid this whole thing was, then great lessons will be learned. Hopefully, the Chief will go along with a preventative type of measure instead of waiting until something like this happens again and having it be too late. These children could have been burned, killed, or they could have burned or killed someone else. One stray gust of wind could easily have set some of the neighborhood on fire. The way they are headed now, they're setting themselves up for bigger crimes, which will result in their lives being ruined because they failed to follow simple rules set by us - their parents- and the laws. By letting these children off the hook, it sets the stage for later disasters, and that's not a chance I'm willing to take with my children, or anyone else's children. Why must we always wait until it's too late before we hold our children accountable? I see more good than harm in having the police bring these children into the police station. They need to be taught that what they did was unacceptable and their behavior needs to be nipped in the bud before they get into something well above their heads. As a parent, I can only do the best I can. I refuse to keep my children cooped inside though because another parent refuses to control her child. I also believe children should be taught at a young age that their choices may come with consequences. I just don't want those consequences to be disastrous. Why not teach them a hard lesson by showing them what could happen if they were adults? Had they been adults, they would have been charged with a crime. Why should the fact that they were children allow them to remain free? They still did something wrong and they should be held accountable. I've only just begun disciplining my son for his role in this. A simple talking to, grounding and taking away his privileges will not suffice this time. It's time for tough love, and it's time to scare these kids silly. But we as a society must take preventative action to prevent serious occurences later. Apathy does not work here. And waiting until it's too late is just that- too late. I hope that one day soon our fire trucks will be clean and shiny- washed by the town's new model children.