What are you saying when no one's looking? I'm asking this rather oddly phrased question because of an incident last week. I caught a glimpse of myself on the security monitor at the bank, and oh my gosh! The image I projected reminded me of someone much older and more tired than I was or felt at the moment. Of course when I saw myself, I immediately lifted my head and shoulders, sucked in my stomach and put a smile on my face. What I noticed as I changed my posture was not only an instant improvement in my appearance but an equally instantaneous improvement in my state of mind as well.

So today, right now, even if there's no mirror around, do a body posture and expression check. Because the message you send when no one's looking is affecting how you look and feel. And make no mistake about it, it also affects the message you send when others are looking too! Researchers have repeatedly validated studies that show more than 55% of a speaker's credibility is based on how they look rather than the words they use to deliver their message. What is your body language saying about you?

You might be asking yourself: What's the big deal? Who cares how I look when I'm sitting at my computer or standing in line at the bank? Can't I at least slump in the privacy of my own home or office? Well consider this: our body language is largely a habit or collection of habits. If you get into the habit of slouching in front of the computer screen, you'll do it in other places as well. If you're in the habit of looking angry, sad or depressed, it's hard to shift that look even when you're none of those things. Eventually your muscles become accustomed to the habitual postures and expressions, and it becomes much more difficult to stand up straight, sit straight, smile or look enthusiastic even when you want to.

A friend of mine recently told me about a salesman who, in spite of a high number of sales calls, had a very low closing ratio. She was called in to identify the problem and coach him to improve his performance. What she discoved, to her surprise, was not poor selling skills or lack of preparation. Instead she found that he had an unconscious habit of scowling; as a result people always thought he was angry. Once she gave him feedback about the message his non-verbal behavior was sending, he was able to modify it and his sales numbers began improving.

Neuro-linguistic programming (the science of the connection between our nervous systems, language and behavior patterns) even suggests that you can alter your mood by changing your body posture or expressions. Smile and you automatically feel happier. Stand up straight and you feel more confident. Breathe deeply and slowly and you begin to feel more relaxed.

This week, experiment with the concepts I've talked about here. Notice the correlation between how you feel physically, mentally and emotionally and the non-verbal messages you're sending out through posture, eye contact and facial expression. Begin retraining yourself to project confidence non-verbally...even when no one's looking. Place a mirror in your office and whenever you catch your reflection in the glass, ask: If someone walked in right now, what would message would they see? It's also a great idea to place a small mirror near your telephone so when you pick up the phone you're reminded to smile. Trust me, that smile (or the opposite) comes through your voice on the phone.

Practice the act of looking confident, friendly, and happy, even when no one's looking. Because at the end of the day, the most important person in your life is always looking...that's you. And don't you deserve to look and feel like the champion you are!

Betty

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Quote of the Week
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"The ancestor of every action is a thought."
~~Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Betty Mahalik has been coaching small business owners, independent professionals and leaders who want to achieve more but stress less, since 1996. Her background includes several years in the broadcasting and public relations fields prior to starting her own firm in 1987. She is an accomplished public speaker and corporate trainer specializing in communications, goal-setting and leveraging your strengths. Since 2001, she has written a weekly motivational message, free to subscribers, titled Monday Morning Coach.