Drumming for the Lord

"Alas, Lord God! Behold, I do not know how to speak..." -Jeremiah 1:6 All during high school, I wanted to fit in, but never did, for various reasons. I wanted to do everything, yet did very little due to lack of confidence. I was musically inclined, playing various instruments, but mainly stuck to the baritone saxophone because my jazz band teacher, Bert Hughes, loved the fact that I was the only female to play so well in one of his bands. My passion, though, was drumming. He and I went round and round; him telling me I was more talented with the sax, and me pleading for chances to be a more active drummer. I'd sneak in at football games to the drummer's line, produce my own sticks and convince one of the snare drummers to let me play a song. I got noticed; one of my yearbooks shows me in my marching band uniform, holding a pair of sticks in my hand asking "What song are we playing?" After high school, I dabbled with drumming. I've had several sets over the years, and actually played with a heavy metal group right after high school, but left when I found out they were a less than desirable group of men. They were actually working towards a record then. I played with people I met in the Army; just jamming, and having a good time. I had decided right after high school that I'd never be the famous drummer I'd so dreamed of, but that was fine- I just loved to play. After I got out of the Army, I went about 6 years without so much as holding a drum stick. That changed when I came to work for the company I'm with now. A man there, Rex, and his wife belonged to a Church where they played for the Lord every Sunday. They had a drummer, guitarists, a clarinetist, a pianist, and Rex played trumpet. They played 'Church music', something I'd never tried because I have a very heavy hand and foot when it comes to drumming. I did play heavy metal, after all! A few years ago, their drummer came on levy for Korea. Around the same time, our company had a picnic where employees would get together and play, if they wanted. Someone heard I was a drummer and wanted me to play. "No way!" I said. "I haven't played in years, and I really just messed around with drumming". They persuaded me, and a couple of them came over one night to rehearse. What I ended up doing was sitting there for 2 hours while they tuned up and argued back and forth what they were going to play. When they finally left, I had played all of 5 minutes, and had not made it through a single song. The picnic was the next day, and I was to play 'Sweet Home Alabama' by Lynyrd Skynyrd. Talk about nerves being shot! That next day, I chickened out, and let some management member play all the bubble gum songs. I said I'd play 'Sweet Home Alabama' and that was it. Well, they were awful. Not having rehearsed together, everything was way off. People left in groups after just a few minutes. Our manager was thoroughly embarrassed, but he had to stay. Finally, they called me up there. I shook my head no. They called me again, so I walked up to the drums on rubber legs, and said a quick prayer for the Lord to give me the strength to get through this, and to please make it fast! They had already started to play, so as soon as I sat down, I just came in on the next beat. I'd never played in front of a group of people as diverse as this, but thankfully, my shaking was invisible as I played. After a minute, my shaking stopped and my talent shone through. I played almost flawlessly, missing just one cymbal crash that was never noticed. The guys played well too, and we drew people back into the small group of those employees daring enough to stay in the first place. Throngs of people came back to see what was going on, and who was that on the drums?" It was ME! I felt great! When the song ended, I put my sticks in my back pocket and started to get up. "Oh, no!" I was told. Our manager came up and told me to sit back down and play! Well, who was I to disobey a direct order? I dutifully sat back down and we just jammed for 30 or so minutes. When it was all over, droves of people came to me wanting to know "Where did you learn to play like that?" and "Why did I hide such talent?" Rex approached me the next week asking if I'd be interested in playing with his group at his Church. Now, I'm not a Church goer. I have faith, I have beliefs, and I'm a very spiritual person, but as a child and teen, I was forced into Church, and the woman who adopted me was very cruel to me whenever we went to Church, to the point of reducing me to tears every Sunday. I still am uncomfortable in any Church, so I celebrate my life and my faith privately, but faithfully. Rex was insistent; they needed me. I finally agreed, but didn't feel good about it. Playing with brushes in a quiet church just wasn't my thing. Get me in a wide open space with electric guitars and loud music, and let me feel free to really play, now that's my thing! I prayed about it, and slowly felt better about the whole thing. I even brought my kids to rehearsals and Church on Sundays. We did this for a few months, and it came time for the Christmas show, which I was looking forward to. The day came, and I was nervous. We had picked several songs, most of which I was to play quietly and in the background. I just really didn't want to mess things up! There were many elderly folks in the congregation, and they were used to certain things. The last song worried me because it was 'Rock around the Christmas Tree' and it would be considerably louder than they were used to. I had someone apologize in advance for me because I knew I would be loud. Right before my cue, I sent a fervent prayer up: "Lord, please, I'm here to play for You! Please lend me your hands so I might do that." We got going, and immediately I found myself playing quite loud. I kept looking over to the other members of the group, watching for the all too familiar signs that I was too loud. There were none. I kept watching the congregation for signs I was too loud. There were none. Then something amazing happened; so amazing that I almost dropped my sticks in the middle of it all. Some of the congregation, I mean folks older than 60, were getting up to dance! Right there, in a Methodist Church, these normally proper and reserved folks were dancing! I looked over at Rex in amazement; he winked back and we played on. The louder we got; the more into the song we got, the more they danced. We played; they danced. I played for the Lord that day. My voice came through my drums. Everyone there heard my voice. It was loud, clear, and flawless. And it was all for my Lord. Lord, lend me your voice so that I may share my joy- and voice- with others.