Are your New Years' Resolutions Doomed - Because of How You Make Them?

New Year's time is upon you again, isn't it? Time to dust off the New Year's Resolution journal, scribble in a few well-intentioned resolutions for change, and get going with 2006, right? Sure - and then when Valentine's Day rolls around, you'll uncover the journal (hidden beneath some magazines), and decide to pack it away until next year, along with Frosty the Snowman and the wrapping paper. And there it will sit, gathering dust, mold, and rat droppings until this time next year. Sounds good and productive, doesn't it? (In case you couldn't hear the sarcasm in that statement... it was there, trust me.) New Year's Resolutions don't seem to last, do they? In fact, a recent poll* shows that people are tossing the idea of New Year's Resolutions in the trash can, from the tune of 88% of people making resolutions down to 45%*. The reason? They just don't work. Au contraire, mon frere - I believe they can work, just not in the way most people do them. Remember the colloquial definition of insanity? Doing the same thing and expecting different results. Well, this is what's going on, all over the place. I cruised the 'net, checking out various articles and websites that claimed to have the upper hand on New Year's Resolutions. Each one promised a new and more effective way to make resolutions, so "this time, they'll work." And every one involved lengthy planning sessions, brainstorming, writing your goals, getting support, etc. Good ideas? Sure. Gonna work? Doubt it. But Einstein doubted it first Einstein summed it up nicely: "The significant problems we face today cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them." So all the goal planning, affirmations, good intentions, and six-step-processes-to-reach-your-goals are essentially useless, unless you change your level of thinking. How to change your level of thinking Eat gingko? Not exactly. Stand on a ladder? Umm, no. Changing your level of thinking is about changing the source of your thoughts. And since your thoughts are reflections of the state of enlightenment of your heart, you change your thoughts by opening your heart to greater levels of witnessing of the Divine Reality. In other words, rather than make your conclusions about how life works based on your experience of creation (that's called "living from your humanity"), make them on your experience of the Creator (that's "living from your Divinity"). What does this have to do with New Year's Resolutions? If you go about changing your life based on: - what you think needs to change - what you think the results should be, and - what you think you need to do to get there then you are trying to change your life based on your life. Trying to get dry using a wet towel. Trying to pull yourself up by your own shoelaces. And that only works in cartoons. Would you rather have a better way to do it? Rather than make New Year's Resolutions based on what you think, try making them based on what your heart's intuitive powers can tell you. And to do that, try this process: 1. Consider the thing you want to change. It can be anything in your life. And if it's the same thing as your last year's New Year's Resolution, great. (I mean, sorry - but great, use it now.) 2. Begin the process I call the Remembrance - remembering the Name of the Divine (whatever you call it, or however you conceive of it). Let it expand your heart, still your mind, and connect you to the Divinity all around you. 3. Ask for a new perspective. Let your expanded heart hold the thing you want to change, and keep Remembering. Pay close attention to your feelings, mental imagery, and subtle sensations that arise in your awareness. Trust what comes! Example: 1) I want to have a wonderful relationship with my daughter, Yasmin. She'll be six years old in February, and she's blossoming in the most amazing ways. I want to make the most of our relationship. If it were up to me, I'd probably think of things like, "spend more time with her", "take her places more often," and "do nice things for her." Good intentions? Sure. But I've had those intentions all along, and it's only done so much. Let's see what happens next. 2) When I started in with the Remembrance, I felt a softness and compassion come into my heart. I felt a greater connection with Yasmin, and my heart swelled with joy. 3) What came to me then was, "Make her feel as good about herself as possible. Make her world wonderful, magical, and exciting." Notice that I didn't get directions; I got directives. I didn't get a map; I got a compass. Rather than dwell on results, I now have intention, a path to walk. Where we end up is not really in my hands. But, I do have a course to follow, and that allows for flexibility, creativity, and change - something that a static plan can never offer. Still have that old New Year's Resolution journal lying around? Well, put it to good use - sit on it while you take a moment to travel into your heart! --- * From a random telephone survey conducted by Stephen Shapiro, president of Goalfree.com, with the assistance of Opinion Research Corp. of Princeton N.J.