Eight Keys to Heat-up a Cool Relationship
1. Celebrate Valentines Day Every Day: Love is a practice. Say I
love you in the morning and at night....more is better. Share
with one another the things that give you the greatest pleasure
and help one another's dream come true. For example if you
partner loves music, bring home CDs or tickets to concerts
often. If your partner loves football, watch with them on a
regular basis. Remember these are GIFTS, done without
resentment. You are dream-makers. A good relationship is like
good sex---both partners give and receive what they want.
2. Heat-up The Bedroom: Since most men are visual, they
appreciate lingerie. Women tend to need to be "talked up" during
the day. However, everyone is different so you need a love map
to one another.
3. Make Connections: Research shows that happy couples connect
often with their eyes, a soft voice, and body language. Cool
couples have habitual ways they distance. Communicate
connection. Use soft eyes when you look at your partner and
touch often.
4. Live Passionately And Not Just For Passion: A wise Native
American once said, "As you go the way of life you will see a
great chasm. Jump...It is not as wide as you think". If your
life is cool, how can your relationship stay hot?
5. In Loving The Spiritual It Is Difficult To Despise The
Earthly: Develop a spiritual practice together. You can use
prayer, inspirational readings, or meditation. Offer gratitude
to one another by sharing one thing you appreciate about your
partner before you go to sleep. This practice builds a positive
emotional bank account. Spiritual practice generates warmth that
heats up the relationship.
6. Don't Just Survive, Visualize: Visualize your dream
relationship. Close your eyes and feel the warmth and
connection. Affirm what you want. Our unconscious mind is filled
with negative thoughts. Retrain your brain. Many people never
saw a model of a hot relationship so they need lots of
visualization practice. A famous neuroscientist observed, "In
the brain, practice makes permanent."
7. We Cannot Stop Life's Sorrows But We Can Choose Joy: Mother
Theresa said, "Our best protection is a joyful heart" Have fun
together. Act like kids. Masters and Johnson observed good sex
is like two children under the sheets.
8. Wake Up Without Make-Up: We cannot have true intimacy unless
we drop our masks. Live every day like Valentines Day instead of
Halloween!
Author, Dr. Linda Miles, is deeply committed to helping
individuals and couples achieve rewarding relationships. She is
an expert with a doctorate in Counseling Psychology, and has
worked in the mental health field for over thirty years. She has
been interviewed extensively on radio, TV, and in newspapers and
magazines. Find more relationship ideas and relaxation
techniques on her web site and in the award-winning book she
co-authored, The New Marriage: Transcending the
Happily-Ever-After Myth, and Train Your Brain: For Successful
Relationships, CD. wwwdrlindamiles.com