Four Ways to Handle Arguments in a Healthy Manner

Controlling anger or handling arguments can be the biggest challenge to face any relationship. The strongest way to battle this problem is to direct anger in a constructive manner. This may seem strange, but yes anger can be dealt with constructively. The easiest way to solve a problem is to find and get to the root of the issue. If you find your days interrupted and thrown off track by major disagreements causing yelling, screaming, and just utter frustration - focus your energy not on the argument, but rather on strategies to defuse the rage and grow the relationship. 1. Redirecting Ammo. Avoid using your spouse or partners vulnerability against them. If they have told you something in confidence, redirecting these vulnerabilities can be very damaging to the idea of trust. Trust is the underlining and base of any relationship. Making your partner feel emotionally safe is of the greatest importance. 2. It is OK to be Angry. Do not ever feel guilty about feeling angry and thus suppressing these feelings. Negative feelings are natural. Recognizing anger in the proper manner and learning to control these feelings while directing them constructively can instantly solve many problems. When your anger is legitimate sort the reasons in which make it legitimate. This will then put yourself in better position to show how you truly feel to your partner and present solutions to possibilities of change. 3. Not an Enemy. Make it very clear that a disagreement doesn't mean you are instantly enemies. No matter how much love exists in any relationship, know that there will be conflicts. Verbal and most definitely physical violence should never be brought into the conflict. Fair arguing limits the chances of that happening while preventing name-calling, cursing, screaming, blaming, and empty threats. 4. Perception is Key. Acknowledge your partner's perceptions and overall emotions about the problem at hand. It is also very important that you look inside yourself for the same thing. It is extremely important that right and wrong ways of feeling do not exist in this context. Once again conflict and disagreements are inevitable. Finding a way to present yourself as a genuinely caring person who is willing to simply listen will help guide yourself as well as your partner or spouse to the root of whatever the problem may be. Perceiving the root of the problem, as well as the opinions of your partner will drastically help in creating solutions.