Let the Love Light Shine
Looking for a way to ignite the sparks in your marriage? Want to
feel closer and more loving towards your mate? Practicing praise
increases the love energy in any relationship at any age. Using
this valuable tip from our workbook Second Time Around:
Reinventing Your Retirement Marriage makes the love light glow!
Motivating with Praise
In your marriage, one partner may exhibit behaviors the other
partner doesn't like. Undesirable situations can occur. Trying
to change or clear away what you don't want in your marriage is
never as effective as focusing on what you do want.
Here are several reasons change works this way:
1. When you try to change an undesirable behavior, you are
telling your partner her behavior is wrong. None of us accept
being wrong as easily as being right.
2. Often criticism is backed by anger that puts your partner on
the defensive. No one is at his creative best when forced to the
defensive position.
3. When you seek more of what you want, you are in fact praising
yourself or your partner for what is going on. Praise is one of
the best motivators to encourage people. Remember to apply this
to yourself; praise yourself often.
4. Negativity, either expressed or just thought about, causes
you to lose your feeling of power. Check this out; experience
how you feel when in your mind you criticize your partner. Now,
in your thoughts, give praise and notice the difference in how
you feel about yourself. You feel more powerful in the praise
scenario.
5. Talking about negative aspects is not uplifting. Focus on
what you want more of--the positive side of your relationship.
Your marriage will be more harmonious and enjoyable.