Always The Bridesmaid, Never The Bride

We all have one. The friend who you love to death, but somehow manages to rain on your parade in whatever you choose to do. I am an oddity amongst my circle of female friends. At the practically ancient age of twenty-six I am showing no sign of wanting to settle down and have two point four children with Mr. Right. Whilst many I grew up with have come to the end of their second marriages by now I haven't even been in a serious relationship for four years. And I'm loving it. Not so with a friend of mine, who for the sake of diplomacy shall be known as Jane. She jumps from relationship to relationship, assessing each partner on his long term prospects in the desperate hope of a wedding ring before she turns thirty. I'm not sure if a meteor is going to hit the earth after that point, or if the ticking of her body clock is going to cause her to explode, but her attitude breathes a level of desperation that I'm surprised hasn't scared away every man in a five-mile radius. Which is a shame. No, really. Despite her somewhat archaic views on women needing to be married Jane is a good friend and entertaining to be with... if you're female. Things are not so good however, if you are Kate, another long-term friend of mine. She is soon to make the leap and walk down the aisle with Simon, or she would be if she wasn't worrying about Jane. For in a moment of stupidity she decided to make the supposedly unpardonable sin of asking Jane and me to be her bridesmaids. Now, of course Jane could have said no, but not wanting to offend Kate she didn't. So for the past few weeks I have had to endure dress fittings to the following soundtrack. "But I look fat in this. I'll never attract a man dressed in peach." "It's okay for you, you have a fianc