So You Wanna Have a College Degree Do Ya??
You come out of the front door of the house trailing drips of
coffee and loose scraps of paper leaving the kid's screams and
the wife's 'be careful honey' in your wake. Juggling everything
you struggle to open the door of the rust heap that you
charitably call 'the ride'. Once inside you realize that you
have left the keys dangling in the keylock. No problem you think
as you unwind the window thinking to yourself that well, at
least it isn't a power window so you don't have to drag your
sorry butt out of the car. As the window gives a little jerk and
then a thud that announces with a certain finality that, yes its
off its track, you realize the futility of congratulating
yourself on anything today.
"Today is a Monday, today is a Monday", squeak the protesting
windshield wipers as you move from the center of the street
closer to the edge trying to avoid the road spray of passing
cars who seem to instinctively know that your driver's side
window won't roll up. Somehow the fact that it's almost March
seems to make your wet left arm even colder and you idly wonder
if it's possible to get pneumonia through a soggy forearm.
Luckily there's a parking spot down at the far end of the lot,
well past the paved section but then if you're five minutes
late, you have to take what is left.
Five minutes late!! How could you possibly be five minutes late?
You break into a run for the door, ignoring the searing pain in
your ankle as you twist it on the broken edge of the pavement,
hoping against hope that you can slip in and make it to your
work station undetected. You're halfway down the hallway before
a head thrusts out and you're trapped in the beady gaze of the
shift supervisor. He deigns to say anything, just turns his nose
high and sniffs disdainfully, but you can be sure that your
tardiness has been duly recorded and your meager pay-stub will
reflect the gaffe.
Now totally rattled, feeling a little subdued and a lot out of
breath from your little wind sprint across the parking lot, you
grab your chipped coffee mug and totter down to the pot. As
usual, in the coffee pot, there is a new miracle of physics on
display. How, you wonder, is it possible to leave so little
coffee in the pot and still not feel that it's somehow time to
put on a new pot? Surely, anyone with half a brain can see that
there isn't enough coffee left to fill even a small thimble
sized expresso cup. Just then the half-a-brain that you were
visualizing skips by the door stopping briefly to announce in
self-justifying tones that if they hadn't put on a fresh pot
because, you see, the old one wasn't all gone.
Minutes later you're back at your desk, head in your hands, eyes
squeezed shut you're trying to visualize somewhere warm and
tropical to soothe the sudden migraine you feel coming on when
your door is assaulted by a rapping resembling a red cockaded
woodpecker on steroids. The grim faced door rapper disgorges the
entire contents of his message in a machine-gun burst.
Boss wants to see you in his office in fifteen minutes sharp!!
Don't be late!
Now your stomach really starts to churn, making you wish that,
yes indeed, you had taken the time to have breakfast this
morning and that you weren't stuck in this dead end job and that
yes, you had stayed on in school and gone to college with all of
your buddies. After all, it seemed as though they had all done
well, none of them working in this sweatshop like yours truly
drawing down a salary rivaling that of pimply faced mickdee's
rep, you realize grimly.
Leaving your work station, you notice on the computer monitor
loaded with the day's drivel that passes for news, a tiny little
box with one of those annoying 'click here' logos. You squint at
it, trying to make out the blurry words that would be so much
clearer if you hadn't left your glasses on the bathroom counter
at home and wonder if those words are the answer to your
problems. 'Get your college degree online!' proclaims the info
box nestled between late breaking news related to Cher's surgery
abuse and claims about Brad's fidelity or lack thereof. Could
you really do this? You, the guy that every neighbor loves to
have on his street, just so they can always feel superior to
But how would it all play out if you did what the
10-best-online-college-degrees suggested? What if you did
suddenly apply for an online college degree? And even more
dizzying, what if you went out and got it? Now your mind is in
hyper-drive, imagining that day when you can swagger on down the
hall, so unlike the little journey you're about to embark upon
now, and tell that little pinched faced desk dweller exactly
what you think of him, his job, and your "promising career of
creating plastic molds for fish-ponds.
Hey, hang on. You're not going to let that career ending thought
take over your mind. Not today. Today was shaping up to be one
of those days that really made a person stop and take stock. Not
that there was a lot of stock to take, in fact very little at
all, truth be told. If you had stayed in school and gone on to
university or even college then things would be oh so different.
Well they would, wouldn't they? Sure they would, your mind
answers back. And it's not too late, in fact if those claims by
these online schools were true, in just a few short years you
could really be graduating with one of many online college
degrees. It all sounded just a little bit too good to be true,
but still you file that away in your mind as you head down the
hall, footsteps dragging ever slower, rivaling those of the
chained monster in a B movie.......to be continued....
Arch McNab is a business owner and writer for various websites
including his own at 10-best-online-college-degrees.com