Top Ten Ways To Cope When Caring For Someone With Autism
No matter who you are or what you do, caring for someone with
autism is difficult and can often stretch you to your limits.
Every now and again you can end up feeling like things are
getting on top of you. The trouble is that more often than can
become every day.
There is no magic wand to take all the difficulties away but
there are many ways to improve the quality of your life so that
it is much easier to cope with the day to day caring for people
with autism.
This is a list of ten simple things that you can do to help you
get back on track and help you cope better:
1 - Don't Sweat The Small Stuff
We all go over the top when it comes to worrying about the minor
things that can happen. Really you only need to worry about
something that can harm your safety or can seriously affect you
in the future. Anything else doesn't really matter. So don't
worry about juice all over the floor if it can be wiped up
easily - even if it has happened 5 times already that day. You
won't solve these problems but stressing about them.
2 - Don't Take It Personally
So your autistic child said - 'I hate you and wish you were
dead.' These are almost never words of sincerity but words of
insecurity or frustration, and you can't take it personally. As
soon as you take things personally they become personal and the
bad feelings between each other get worse. Let your child test
their frustration and test anger, and show them why it is bad
and how to deal with it properly. This is hard to do but
remember one thing, as soon as you see red and get angry, you
are not in control. So don't take it personally.
3 - Don't Try And Fix Your Child
There is no known cure for autism and if you try and fix your
child to behaving and acting like someone that doesn't have
autism then you are going to get really frustrated. The best
thing you can do is to accept it and try to make things feel
better. This can be hard, especially for those people who have a
natural instinct to fix problems. The problem is that autism
often comes across as bad behavior which can be fixed. Don't be
fooled into thinking you can fix autism - just make it better.
4 - Try To Recharge Your Batteries
So many parents continue to deal with the day to day that they
don't take time for themselves. Whenever you can or whenever you
feel you need to, get some help and take a break. If this means
a few hours of sleep or a whole day of retail therapy then do
what you need to do to make sure you take a break. Be productive
and make sure you come back feeling recharged and ready to cope
again.
5 - Get Organised
This is a big one. Organised people get more done. Caring for
autistic people takes extra time, so if you organise all the
medical papers, routines, school takes then you will become more
efficient. If you organise your time effectively then you won't
drag your heels doing loads of things that just take up time.
6 - Make Chores Second Nature
There are usually many chores that need to be done, like,
helping with exercises, making special meals and so on. If you
organise these into a list of chores and carry them out as a set
daily or weekly routine then they should become second nature.
If you can make them second nature then it is easier to do all
those tasks as if they are as necessary as brushing your teeth.
Then they don't seem like a chore anymore, they are more like
one of those things you do everyday and won't feel like you are
taking up time to doing things you don't want to do. It also
sets a really good example.
7 - Relax
There are lots of people that will tell you about stress
management and even more that would like to sell you something
to cope better. This is more than just taking a time out to sit
down. It is more like not getting stressed. Getting stressed
increases your heart rate and gives you a feeling of uneasiness.
This then makes you irritable and less able to cope with what is
going on. Caring for autistic people can be very demanding. But
people usually get stressed about the same things that happen
every day, such as tantrums and broken furniture or shouting. If
these things happen every day then they will probably happen
tomorrow as well, and so there is no point in worrying about it.
Just be ready to deal with it the next day, and if it doesn't
happen then rewards all round.
8 - Be Prepared
There is no better way of dealing with difficult things then
being prepared. This may mean you put a plastic sheet under the
dining room table to catch the mess, or it may mean getting an
ID tag for going to the park. What ever you need to do to get
yourself prepared will be a step closer to helping you cope
better with whatever happens.
9 - Reward Yourself
No matter what you think, you are doing a great job. Caring for
autistic people is difficult and take a lot of time and energy.
So reward yourself for all your hard work because you deserve
it. And when you have coped with a particularly hard day, reward
yourself even more.
10 - Talk To Others
Please don't underestimate the benefit of talking to other
people who are going through the same thing. There are many
people who are dealing with what you are dealing with and many
more that are probably dealing with worse. And if you seem to be
dealing with a very difficult family situation then there are
many people that would love to speak to you. The autistic
community is a group of unique people that are probably the best
educated and trained people to understand what you are going
through. So use them.