Flunking Family History 101

If someone were to give your child a "test" that covered many of the details of your life, and included questions about their own family's history, how do you think they'd do? If your child is school-aged, no doubt, he/she are inundated with tests of all kinds. When he/she fail those tests, or does horribly on one, we are often quick to blame the school and the teacher. Well after many years of living (studying) in the same home with you, you'd figure that they'd know a lot about your life, the lives of their grandparents and more. In this scenario, the home is the school and we, the parents, are the teachers. I fear that, when it comes to communicating significant family history and why they are significant, many of us may not be getting as high of marks as we might think. Believe me, it's not that we don't want to teach our children about these things, but in today's hectic lifestyle, the traditional opportunities to share these stories and memories are fewer. Hectic modern family schedules, especially when both parents work, curtail time spent talking around the family dinner table. Full-blown family reunions and get-togethers are less frequent due to the distances we live from other family members. Distractions, such as non-stop cable television, computers, video games and other such devices reduce the actual time that we spend talking with each other. Increases in extracurricular school and community activities eat away at traditional family time as well. Several years ago I worked with individuals ages 17-27, with background investigation paperwork. For this, some family information was required on the application. I would estimate that nine times out of ten, these individuals would have to call someone to be reminded of their parent's birth dates and/or their grandparent's full names. It always made me wonder. What else didn't they know about their own family? Okay, ready for a quick test? Here are some sample test questions. How would your chil do? How would you do, if given the same questions about your parents and grandparents? Describe how, when and where your parents met? What about your grandparents? What would your parents say were the 3 most influential people and events they experienced during their lifetime? How were they influential? What did your parents want to be, when they "grew up"? What kind of students were your parents? What would your parents, individually and collectively, consider their best decisions made? Which have been their most regrettable decisions? Who is the oldest member of the family that your parents (or grandparents) can remember? Well, how do you believe your child would have done? How well could you have answered those same questions about your parents? Nobody has been given a guarantee that they'll live to be old and gray. It really makes one stop and think, when confronted with this sobering reality. "If I didn't live past tomorrow..." "Have I conveyed everything about my life, that I've intend to, to my children? If not, what am I waiting for?" "Have I shared with them the hard-learned lessons I've learned about life? Or am I just going to let them figure it all out on their own?" "Have I passed on all the great family stories and memories that were told to me by my parents?" Then wonder... "Will my children know, or will they someday understand the happenings in my life that..." ...Cause me to think the way I do? ...Make me believe the way I do? ...Make me act the way I do? ...Cause me to celebrate the things that I do? ...Help me make the decisions that I do? ...Worry about things like I do...etc? Then there are these questions... - What have I taught my kids, so far, that will impact them the rest of their lives? - What have I NOT taught them that will impact them the rest of their lives? - What will they remember most about me? One day, this test will actually be given to your children. It will come, most likely, from the sweet innocent voices of your grandchildren or great grandchildren. They will have questions about you and their heritage in general. They'll be seeking answers to questions that will help them understand who they are and how they fit into the family, historically. Will your child have the right answers to give them? Will they have an answer at all? Nothing beats an open book test. When you keep a journal or create a record of your life, the test your child faces someday, will indeed, and thankfully, be an open book test. Won't you get started today?