Take Baby Steps to Reach your Goal
With spring approaching, we often start reassessing our New
Year's resolutions and goals for the year. I am always looking
for inspiration to make sure I achieve my goals and I came
across a great quote: "good parents are the ones who learn more
from their kids than they can teach them." Can you think of
something a child has taught you? As a mother of a 20 month old,
one of the lessons I see every day is how lots of little
accomplishments (like baby steps) can lead to a big
accomplishment (like walking and running).
So how do baby steps apply to us as adults, whether or not you
are a parent? Like so many parents, I mark my calendar for every
milestone my baby makes - the day he first took a step on his
own, the day he fed himself, the day he could crawl up and more
importantly, down the stairs, the first day he said Dada (why
did that have to come first?) and the first day he said Mama. At
20 months, he is now walking, running, babbling and eating with
a spoon. But he didn't start at that way, before he learned to
walk he crawled, then he walked holding on to things, and when
he first started walking he lurched one time and hit his head on
the table requiring 12 stitches, but that did not stop him. His
goal was to walk on his own and eventually run. He did not think
he was a failure if he could not run right away. He did not
judge his actions or his ability; he just focused on his goal.
His accomplishments made me start to wonder, why we as adults
don't congratulate ourselves on our "first steps". Instead we
judge ourselves and focus on our failures. Everything seems to
be all or nothing. So many of my coaching clients are so hard on
themselves and focus all their energy on the process instead of
the end result. One client wants to lose five pounds a week and
when she doesn't, she feels like she has failed so she forgets
about eating right altogether. I challenged her to think about
her goal in another way. Instead of focusing on the pounds,
focus on the ultimate goal (like my son wanting to walk - he
didn't care how it happened). So maybe if she concentrated on
her ultimate goal of looking and feeling healthy and the
lifestyle that would bring, the process would be easier and she
would not beat herself up if she had a dessert one day. Every
small step in the direction on your goal is an accomplishment.
Another client wants to exercise every day, and when she does
not, she gives up and does not exercise at all. She focuses on
the process of exercising instead of the ultimate goal or being
healthy so when she does not meet her expectations she has set
herself up for failure.
My question is why can't we approach our goals as little
accomplishments? If you want to exercise every day to be
healthy, congratulate yourself on every time you exercise and
move towards your goal of being healthy. Any step in the
direction of your goal is an accomplishment. It's the baby step
approach - you sit up, you crawl, you walk and then you run.
We all have our "to do" lists crammed with every conceivable
task. What would happen if instead of focusing on the "to do"
lists, we made "lists of accomplishments"? And if we started
making lists of accomplishments, what would that tell us about
ourselves? My bet is that we would feel better about ourselves;
we would feel powerful and energized and feel closer to
accomplishing our ultimate goal.
Turning your own baby steps into accomplishments So I challenge
you to make time to celebrate your accomplishments and put away
the "to do" lists. You already know what you need to do. Every
baby step you take towards something you value is an
accomplishment and lots of baby steps can lead to an even bigger
accomplishment. With time, you'll see that your list of
accomplishments will become longer than your "to do" list.