Diversity And Unity: Embracing Our Similarities
Have you ever felt uncomfortable with someone because they were
different than you? Maybe they had a different ethnic background
or skin color, or maybe they were "book smart" while you are
more "street smart". Maybe they dressed differently than you do,
or maybe you were just repulsed by them and you're not sure why.
I had a disturbing experience this week, in which a person was
publicly ridiculing me for my spiritual beliefs. I can't lie, it
stung. We all want to be liked and accepted, and it hurts when
we are rejected. I didn't even know this person, he just took
exception to me because I was different than he was. He didn't
give me a chance and try to find out if I was someone he might
like to know. He assumed I was not acceptable because of one
thing about me that didn't sit well with him.
Maybe you've had a similar experience? Have you been rejected by
someone because of your religious beliefs, skin color, body
size, ethnic background or some other reason? It doesn't feel
good, does it? Over time, such experiences can make us question
our own self-worth. What is really happening when a person is
intolerant of another? I believe there are two dynamics playing
out beneath the surface.
First, fear of the unknown. If we have no personal experience
with people of different cultures, religions and societal
"classes", we are usually laboring under stereotypes. Webster's
New World Dictionary defines stereotype as, "a fixed or
conventional notion or conception". In other words, we have been
taught to believe certain things about certain types of people.
If you saw a muscular man in a deerskin loincloth carrying a
spear and wearing colored paint on his face, what would you
think? Savage, right? If you were to encounter him while
traipsing through the jungle, you would likely feel very
fearful, and wonder if he meant you harm. For all you know, he
might be the doctor or religious leader of his village. If you
encountered him on the streets of New York City, you'd probably
think that he had escaped from a mental institution. Not because
he is acting insane, but because he appears different than
everyone else. We fear what we do not know or understand.
Another reason we fear people who are different is because we
often feel threatened by them. If someone's religious beliefs
are right, then ours must be wrong. If a particular manner of
dress becomes popular and we don't follow along, we are
ridiculed and considered to be behind the times. We must drive
the right car, buy all the latest electronic gadgets, and move
within the right social circles. This is called "Competitive
Thinking". In order for us to be right, someone else must be
wrong. In order for us to be accepted, we must reject those who
are different than we are.
This type of thinking usually stems from feelings of insecurity.
When we feel insecure about ourselves (or aspects of ourselves),
we often try to act over-confident, to hide that insecurity from
others. In our competitive society, showing weakness of any kind
can be the kiss of death. We often feel the need to tear others
down, to build ourselves up. We can then look like the "winner".
But do we really win in a situation like that? By tearing
someone down in order to build yourself up, you only succeed in
diminishing your own image. Most people will not see you as a
Winner, but as a Bully. They may not verbalize it (otherwise you
might turn your anger on them!), but they will be thinking it.
That is not self-confidence, but arrogance.
A person who is truly self-confident feels no need to tear
others down or ridicule or reject others. Rather, they seek to
build others up, because they know that by doing so they build
themselves up. A self-confident person is not threatened by
someone who is different. They are interested in getting to know
someone who is different. They see value in learning from
others, and sharing with others.
No matter how different we appear to be from each other, we have
alot more in common than we think. I have said many times that
we are all connected on a spiritual level, and I truly believe
that. You may have seen glimpses of that from time to time in
your own life. Have you ever made eye contact with someone you
didn't know, and exchanged a genuine smile with them? It may be
in a crowded elevator or at a large gathering, or even on the
street. For one split second, you are Friends with that person,
even if you have never spoken to them. There is an exchange of
energy taking place, and you recognize the God within them, as
they also recognize the God within you. On a more physical
level, we are also very much alike in the sense that we all want
to be loved and accepted. We all want to provide security and
safety for our families. We all want to live productive, happy
lives. At our core, we are more alike than we are different.
Strive to focus on those things that we all have in common. No
matter how different someone appears to be, try to recognize the
things that make them similar. And honor those things that do
make them different. Diversity is a wonderful thing. How
incredibly boring this world would be if we were all exactly
alike.
I leave you with a popular Sanskrit word ~ Namaste ~ (pronounced
nah-mah-STAY), which means "the Divine in me recognizes and bows
to the Divine in you". What a beautiful sentiment, to recognize
and honor the spark of God in each of us. May we always strive
to do so in our daily lives.