Why Become a Certified EQ Coach
Coaching developed because it met a need. People who weren't in
need of psychiatric therapy needed more in terms of advice and
guidance than friends or family could, would or should provide,
and were seeking this from various professionals in their lives
- doctors, financial advisors, ministers and attorneys, to name
a few. One family law attorney I know took a counseling degree
so he could feel more confident about the questions outside of
law he was asked, and what he had to listen to. Family law, they
say, is "where nobody wins" and where the emotions are intense
"because more than money is involved." Thomas Leonard, the
founder of coaching, was an account who found he had become a
financial advisor and something else he decided to call "a
coach" and made it into a legitimate field. We needed people to
talk things out with, or go to for advice on specific challenges
or goals, or for more philosophical issues such as retirement or
life transitions. Often we were confused, asking our internist
about parenting issues, our ministers about financial concerns,
our accountants about marital issues, our attorneys about dating
problems, and our professors how to handle our anger and
disappointment, while reserving licensed therapists for serious
mental health concerns. After all, when we want to know HOW to
handle our anger, we want to know what specifically to do, not
get into a discussion about our mothers.
Coaching developed and it was advised that one have a niche.
There is a niche for just about everything - parenting, ADHD,
bipolar, relationships, Internet dating, career, accountability,
fathering, tobacco cessation, addiction, goal-setting, and more.
And still it continues. The parenting coach finds herself
talking about the marital relationship. The accountability coach
has to deal with procrastination and career implications. The
career coach finds the same issues are occurring in the
individual's personal life. It's typical in my own practise that
"the presenting concern" is rarely where we end up. It's a
career issue and 3 weeks later we're talking about his wife.
It's about potty-training, and the next thing up is a job
problem.
I maintain that someone who needs accountability coaching isn't
there for another daytimer. There are a million daytimers out
there and the person knows very well how to get organized. Look
at how they plan their day: I will set the alarm for 6, and then
turn it back twice until it's 7:00. I will have carefully made
sure there's no milk for the cereal, and walk out the door
forgetting to put the garbage out so I have to go back for it. I
will lose my keys. It goes on like that, almost by design.
My point? Our clients are smart, healthy and functioning. They
have adequate IQs, and they are aware of the vast array of
self-help instruments, books and tools out there. What they come
to coaching for almost always involves and issue of emotional
intelligence. The person with the accountability problem above
is really looking for Intentionality. He is intending to be
late, disorganized, frustrated and angry with himself, instead
of intending to be on time, organized, and functioning smoothly
with pleasant emotions.
Emotional Intelligence (EQ) covers every issue any client will
bring to you. Specializing in it, or subspecializing in it (a
matter of semantics) makes things exceedingly more clear to you
as the coach, and enables you to help in ways that are truly
beneficial. In order to accomplish anything, including wellness,
your client has to have all 3 brains up and functioning
together. EQ is like an owner's manual of the brain, and the
brain is what runs the show. Studying it, in fact, is an
exercise in brain integration and balance. This is talking about
emotion intellectually, not experiencing it for corrective
means, as in therapy. You can give the client The EQ-Map
(http://tinyurl.com/z94t ) to see where the deficits are, and
then simple exercises which strengthen the competencies that are
missing.
It's ideal for coaching because it greatly increases your
ability to help, and also must be coached. You can't just read
about EQ, you have to put it into practice, and it goes without
saying that if the person knew how to do it, they'd be doing it,
because it makes your life work much better.
Coaches, HR personnel, ministers, teachers, physicians and
others I've certified in EQ have called it "the missing piece."
It's that powerful. I hate to call it "hot" because that makes
it designer, but it is "hot" and it's global. I have trained
people all over the world. You will quickly find it's the common
language amidst the chaos, which brings up another point.
Stress is probably a concern of anyone you coach, and this is
because of the rapidity of change these days. Also because of
the multicultural strain. A hypothetical example of an office
one might se today is one where the age range is 29-62,
ethnicity includes Hispanic, Hispanic-German, and Anglo-Saxon;
religions include none, fundamentalist, Latter Day Saint,
Catholic, Protestant, and New Age (which caused issues at
Halloween, would you believe?); two "natives" to the city, 3
"northerners" transplanted to the southwest, a father-son pair,
and one person in a wheelchair. In this office there is not one
WASP male, if you remember that term.
The potential for cultural conflict in such a diverse group is
astounding. A door closed means nothing to one person, and is an
absolute barrier to another. One person is affiliative and wants
everyone to help, while another is competitive and isolationist.
One person comfort-distance is "in your face" to another. The
only hope for commonality in such a group is the goal around
which they unite, general rules of etiquette (which is very much
EQ), and a strong leader with authenticity and integrity who
does not permit factions and gossip. Were it not for that, every
day would be a quarrel about the smell of file gumbo in the
break room.
Were you to attempt to coach this group, or any member of it
around the problems inherent in the situation, you would end up
like the coach in the UK I consulted with. He met the group and
they couldn't even agree on the parameters of how that session
would go. The Germans got out their flow chart and grease
boards, and the Mexicans wanted to talk about their families.
Where to begin? EQ, because they all want the same thing - what
they want; and they all have one thing in common - how they feel
about it. Until the emotions are recognized and dealt with you
can't get to the problem-solving, and to coach this process,
you, yourself must understand and be able to manage your own
emotions and those of others.
To position yourself for coaching in the coming decade, get a
certification in emotional intelligence. It will put you light
years ahead