Stop Your Divorce with Marriage Counseling
Marriage counselors don't have to seen as merely a last-ditch
attempt at saving a troubled marriage. Most of the time however,
that is exactly what they become. This is truly unfortunate,
because marriage counselors can be a lot more effective earlier
in the marriage. It's often the case that by the time the
married couple decides to seek professional help, they have so
much resentment built up to such a high level that their issues
are much more difficult to resolve if not impossible.
A lot of the time, married couples will cringe at the idea of
marriage counseling because they feel that it's an admission of
failure. This is a deeply ingrained socio-cultural value that is
also an extremely pointless one. In order for a couple to be
able to admit that a marriage has problems becomes paramount to
declaring the marriage a potential success later on. This is not
only sad but foolish, for many marriages that end in divorce may
have been saved if for no other reason by basic marital
counseling. Since most of the couples that end in divorce have
never tried marriage counseling, however, they will never know
the answer for sure. It will always be a question in their minds
which leads to many what ifs.
Advice about Marriage Counselors In my opinion, the most helpful
and perhaps the healthiest way for people to look at marriage
counseling is to consider it routine maintenance and not a last
ditch effort to save a lost cause. Just as the smarter car owner
takes the car in for regular inspections and oil changes, the
same goes for the smarter couples who know that it would be best
to make marriage counseling part of their official marriage
routine. It is best to consider it a forum that you can use to
share your ideas and opinions in a safe and neutral setting.
When it is moderated by a professional: the marriage counselor
it becomes safe for both partners. In situations like this, all
of your minor problems can be dealt with early on and defused
before they become bigger and perhaps insurmountable.
I have a number of friends who worked with marriage counselors
with varying degrees of success. One rule that you can keep in
mind is that you need to have a mutual agreement about the
counselor. In other words, if one of the partners in the
marriage feels like the counselor is always on the other
person's side, then that's going to cause some serious problems
later on. You should always choose a counselor who is neutral
and able to see both sides objectively. This is what makes
marriage counseling work. You can find a counselor at your
church or in the yellow pages.