10 Tips for Dealing with Cold Feet
The following paragraphs summarize the work of wedding experts
who are completely familiar with all the aspects of wedding.
Heed their advice to avoid any wedding surprises.
Feelings of anxiety and concern are completely normal prior to a
wedding. One or both members of the couple may experience the
cold feet phenomenon that overshadows them and causes them to
become concerned over their upcoming wedding. Usually this
feeling is not a cause for concern and it passes naturally on
its own as your realize that you are more excited than anxious
but the following are a few tips for helping to work through
your cold feet issues.
The first tip for dealing with cold feet is simply to relax and
realize that this happens to a lot of people in your situation.
This is important because many people will get caught up in
believing that these feelings mean that they shouldn't go
through with their wedding. Realizing that your feelings are
completely naturally will help to waylay these fears.
After you calm down, get out a piece of paper and pen and just
start listing all of your anxiety. This is particular helpful
because you may have a great deal of trouble doing this which is
significant because it helps you to realize that you don't
really have anything to worry about. The other scenario is that
you may find that you have a long list of fears and may be
amused to find that none of them are really logical. Sometimes
seeing your concerns listed on paper helps to alleviate them.
Another tip for dealing with cold feet is to talk to your
partner about your feelings. Many people are hesitant to this
because they are embarrassed about their feelings but talking to
your loved one can really help in this situation. Chances are
that they know you better than anyone and can assist you working
through these things. They may even confess similar feelings
which helps you to realize that cold feet are completely natural.
If you feel that talking to your partner will further exacerbate
the problem consider talking to a close friend instead. Just
talking about your anxiety can help to relieve the tension. Once
you verbalize your fears you are likely to find that they begin
to dissipate and you start to relax and look forward to your
upcoming wedding.
Another tip for dealing with cold feet is to talk to a friend
who has recently married to get their perspective on married
life. They will be able to tell you how well things are going
for them which should ease your fears about the transition to
married life. They will also be able to assure you that they had
similar feelings of anxiety and that there is no cause for
concern.
If you base what you do on inaccurate information, you might be
unpleasantly surprised by the consequences. Make sure you get
the whole wedding story from informed sources.
Making two lists; one of your fears and one of your reasons for
marrying your partner, can help to alleviate cold feet. Once you
make this list you will most likely see that the reasons that
you want to get married far outweigh your fears. Sometimes just
seeing this on paper is very beneficial to eliminating cold
feet.
Writing a love letter to your partner can be another way to
combat the feelings of cold feet. This process gives you a
chance to ponder all the reasons why you love your partner.
Expressing your feelings in a love letter can refocus your
attention on what you love most about your partner and make you
realize that the small things you are worrying about are really
inconsequential.
Going through old photos of you and your partner can also help
to ease the anxiety of cold fit. Looking through pictures from
your courtship is a great way to remind you of all the fun times
you and your partner have had together and will help you realize
that there are still lots of fun times together in store for the
two of you.
Spending some time away from the planning process is another way
to help alleviate cold feet. Wedding anxiety is often spurred on
by other problems such as the stresses of the wedding planning.
This stress can put you on edge and make problems seem bigger
than they really are. Take a trip to spa or spend an afternoon
participating in an activity you enjoy to take your mind off of
all the details that are still remaining for a little while.
Finally, if after examining the reason for your cold feet, you
come to realize that there are serious issues at hand it is
advisable to postpone the wedding until these issues can be
resolved. If your concerns are valid and your relationship is
potentially harmful either physically or emotionally you may
need to seek professional help. Issues such as abuse, addiction
and betrayal can be reasons to cancel a wedding and discontinue
the relationship.
Cold feet of feelings of anxiety over your impending wedding are
perfectly normal. Many brides and grooms have these feelings and
in most cases they are completely harmless. It is, however,
important to trust your instincts and if there is something
seriously wrong with your relationship, it may be wise to cancel
the wedding. As your knowledge about weddings continues to grow,
you will begin to see how wedding fits into the overall scheme
of things. Knowing how something relates to the rest of the
world is important too.