Is She Just a Habit?
You and she are a couple and have been dating for awhile. You've
fallen into a pattern that seems comfortable and even safe.
Sure, you fight once in a while, but you have fun too.
The only problem is that you're bored and you're wondering what
else you're missing out there.
It's easy to fall into dating someone out of habit, especially
when you consider what you have to do in order to meet someone
new. You have to meet someone, learn about them, go through all
the courting rituals, handle problems, spend time, money and
emotional energy and rebuild a new habit.
Do you and she have the same goals? Do you both enjoy the same
activities? Are you sexually compatible? There are a thousand
and one considerations with each new person you meet!
The end of the year is a good time to start reconsidering your
goals and direction. You might create "New Year's resolutions",
but I suggest you build goals instead. Resolutions tend to be
vague. For instance; "I'm finally going to lose that 30 pounds,
and have the hernia fixed." It doesn't mention when you're going
to do these things.
Goals on the other hand are very specific and have a timeframe
for their accomplishment. By looking at your goals before New
Year's day, you're pro-actively crafting next year to fit your
needs, not simply hoping for something better.
So, how do you decide if she's just a habit?
First, sit down and think about what you want in your
relationship life. What are you looking for and how will you
feel, think, act and be when you get it? How does that image
apply to your current relationship?
If it's substantially different, you might very well be in a
habit with her. This may be a good time to re-evaluate that
relationship and consider breaking out to find a new one. You're
going to have to determine if you have the skills you need to do
this and again, the first of the year is a great time to begin
the work of gaining these skills.
The real key to this however is to have clear, written goals of
what and whom you're looking for and to craft this into a plan.
Be sure to include a timeframe for this plan too! Otherwise it's
simply a dream and you'll never get started on accomplishing it.
Best regards...