Super Daters Know What They Want
Super Daters are patient daters. They know what they are
searching for in a permanent relationship. And they date with
that in mind. They know it will take many dates with the same
person to be sure that a permanent relationship will work.
If your date is pressuring you into a more serious relationship
than you are ready for, don't give in. If you are not ready for
the next step, state it clearly. Super Daters don't lead their
dates to believe they are about to make a commitment when they
have no intention of doing so. They know it is harder to get out
of a live-together relationship without hard feelings than it is
if you are just casual dating. Live-together relationships
entail responsibilities you may not be ready for. Are you
sharing expenses? Is this a closed relationship? No more dating
anyone else. Do you expect to know where the other one is at all
times? If friends of your live-in drop by are you welcome to
join in the conversation, or are you expected to "disappear" to
give them privacy? Does your live-in expect to be invited to
your family gatherings? Do you expect the same from his/her
family? Have you worked out the housekeeping chores, the
cooking? The shopping? If everything points to a "Go" why are
you choosing a relationship instead of marriage when the
responsibilities are the same?'
If you choose to move in together, is the main reason financial?
Financial problems are at the top of the list of problems
married couples have (including relationships). Living together
will not make financial problems disappear. There will be added
problems like do we share bank accounts? Who pays for what? What
if one of you buys something the other doesn't approve of?
Do he/she share your goals? And vice versa. If the answer is no,
you will probably never attain them. If your goals require time
that your live-in wants you to spend with him/her your goals
with be low on the priority scale. This can affect the rest of
your life.
Do you laugh at the same things? If you do not share the same
sense of humor, you will be missing an important ingredient for
a satisfying relationship. Humor gets people through tough times
and keeps many couples from the divorce court.
Do you have lots of common interests? If not, you may run out of
things to talk about. If so, why would you even consider moving
in together?
This is the time when you should analyze your situation and
admit that maybe you went too fast at the beginning. Super
Daters know that getting out of a serious relationship is
definitely harder than getting into it. And if they have doubts,
it is far better for everyone not to commit at this time. There
is always tomorrow.
Super Daters do not compromise in important matters like finding
the right match. They know it takes dating often and in
different situations to completely understand each other. They
know not to rush into serious commitments until they are sure
their choices are the right. They know that time is their
friend, and they use it wisely
Copyright 2006 Robert T. Lewis