Meeting Your Date's Family
If your relationship is getting serious, you will soon have to
face your date's family. "My parents want us to come to dinner
tomorrow night' is often the cause of a sleepless night and a
stressful day, but it doesn't need to be.
Don't be reluctant, accept with pleasure, "I have been hoping to
meet them, I look forward to it." This is your chance to learn
more about your date than you could learn in several months of
dating.
Ask your date what you could take as a small gift. If they like
plants, take a blooming plant. If they are interested in
politics, find a book in their favorite subject. A DVD of their
favorite music would also be appreciated. This kind of gift
shows that you put effort in finding out what they like. It is
also a conversation starter. You can discuss the book and the
DVD and admire the plant, but if you plan to take candy you
better find out if either are on a diet.
You will be able to tell quite early how the family members
interact with each other. Do they respect each other's opinions
or do they snipe at each other, or try to embarrass them? This
is valuable information to explore further before you marry.
It is up to the hosts to take charge of the conversation. but if
they don't you should always have a few non-controversial topics
you can suggest to fill the awkward silences. A pet is always
good for several minutes of conversation. Don't do the weather.
Everyone knows whether it has been cold or hot. Traffic is
pretty overdone also. World events are always good as long as
they are not political. Of course if you find out you agree
politically, you will probably pass inspection right then.
Dinner conversation is always the easiest. Remember, the hostess
is always a good cook, and the dinner is always delicious,
always! You may request a recipe, even if you don't like to
cook. Most people like to give recipes. However, if she is
reluctant, perhaps she regards it as a family secret. Don't Push.
After dinner conversation is the most revealing for both host
and guest. There are usually clues around the house. Maybe a
trophy earned for golf, a magazine on fishing or hiking or
antiques. Pursuing these hints are sure to be winners. If there
are no clues, you might start a conversation with, "Did you see
the game last night." If you get blank stares, obviously they
are not into sports, and you will have to change subjects. How
about vacations, travel, or dogs?
At some point, they are sure to ask what you do for a living,
although they probably already know. You can make your answer
long enough to satisfy their curiosity but be careful not to
bore them. Everyone's job is more interesting to themselves than
to anyone else.
However, this gives you an opening, when you can ask the same
question. "Debra says you are into real estate? "What's going on
in that market anyway.? As soon as this subject is open for
conversation, it is good for a long discussion And be sure to
ask for advice. People love to give advice.
The evening will eventually come to an end, and you should have
learned a great deal about your prospective in-laws. Hopefully,
you have made good friends. Whatever happened, you can be sure
you will have many more opportunities to get further acquainted.
Copyright 2006 Robert T.Lewis