Help Unwanted
I live in a very progressive part of the world where it isn't
hard to find a job... if you have the qualifications. I've
learned however that it takes more than a professional
portfolio, dazzling references, and a shiny appearance to make
the grade in the city... it takes a fortitude of character to
know what will and will not work for you.
Retail has for the most part been my forte. Food service is
probably not for me: I can't be trusted to cook for others, and
especially not strangers. My culinary resume consists of grilled
cheese and spaghetti for hte most part, not exactly the high
calibre needed for the restaurants catering to the stars. I have
a terrible memory and fare even worse with hand-eye
coordination. I can't even make it home with two grocery bags
and a pizza without incident, so waitressing is an unlikely
choice, even in some of the slouchy diners in my neighborhood. I
made the rather dubious decision to not attend college, so while
I have the graphic design skills needed to get my foot in the
door, I often lose out on entry level design jobs to candidates
who, arguably, need the money slightly more than I do so that
they can pay off their student loans. This leaves, for ambiguous
characters such as myself, the wonderful world of RETAIL.
While I think of myself as a very nice, giving, and flexible
person, I feel like I may not be suited to retail despite my
best efforts to make a career of it. I was recently laid off at
my first job outside the retail world, and I realize as I find
myself combing Craigslist and trying to polish my resume to find
something new to pay the rent, that the jobs I'm searching for
are the ones that I least want to apply for. While this
revelation has helped me understand why I'm so resistant to
apply for jobs, it is only the first part of my search for the
ideal field for me.
Customer service is a sticky subject for me. While I possess
what I consider to be adequate people skills, I also have been
in the retail field long enough to know that neither the
customer nor the manager is always right. This is forbidden
knowledge, and it has invariably doomed every retail job I have
held. While I start off as Employee of the Month superstar
fodder, I can never really keep pace and find myself quickly
losing interest, especially if I detect any weakness in the
business structure. At the first sign of potential conflict or
violation of my personal ethics, I quickly become mutinous and
rarely feel like I can rely on former employers for a solid
reference even when my departure is not hostile.
I used to think that I just got unlucky with other people's
management styles, but after enough resignations, unscheduling,
and tongue-biting, I've come to another conclusion: Despite what
managers ask for when they make a job posting, I am really just
not the right candidate. Sure, I have a 'winning personality,'
but try asking me that when three customers in a row ask me if
we take American Express when the signs above the register, beow
the register, on the wall behind the register, and on the
counter in front of them expressly state that we take Mastercard
and Visa only. Yes, I am 'willing to learn,' but I'd really
rather learn about how to do the job right than about how high
the turnover rate is in your boutique. Of course I am a
'self-starter who doesn't need to be told what to do,' but if
you leave me to my own devices for too long and I run out of
ideas about what you'd like me to do, I'm going to get
frustrated and bored, and will probably start using up your
sticky notes to leave amusing and mildly inappropriate messages
to your other employees.
Do I think I'm "better" than menial jobs? Of course not,
otherwise I would never take them. Why then is it so difficult
for me to find a job setting that suits me? I don't quite know,
but I suspect it has something to do with my personal integrity.
I am good at making a sales pitch when I believe in what I'm
selling, but as a thrifty, cheap-chic do-it-yourselfer, it's
hard for me to come up with reasons to "need" boutique luxuries
like designer handbags or doggie sweaters. I love to smile and
I'm very personable, but I'm not good at hiding how I feel about
something.
I'll find something, I'm sure, but until then, I am waiting for
the ad that says what they really mean:
WANTED: Someone to Sell Things For My Store. I have ridiculous
expectations about you, even though I haven't met you yet. I'm
not paying you enough to make you want to conform to my style of
management, but I am going to demand perfection and probably
contradict myself several times before you get fed up and quit.
And I'll be looking for something new, that I haven't done
before. That way I can hopefully get a little closer to figuring
out what it is I really want to do with myself for the rest of
my life.