Magical Yahoo Readings
I should of stayed with Quick!
I went back to Salem, the Witch city, where I previously lived
for twelve years. But after one immature 40 year old, an eight
hour walk, a year in a two bedroom apartment alone, Mr. Jeckyl
and Mr Hyde Landlord, a friend of ten years accusing me of rape,
an accident from three years ago suing, my paintings vandalized,
a half pack of cigarettes, and partridge in a pear tree I got
out of Dodge and headed back to Jersey in December. I have been
back since, but this time I came back to play psychic in the
Halloween capital of the world.
Every couple of years, I play a Carny of sorts in town. One year
I worked in a Disney land of Ghouls filled with animatronics.
Got onto the Discovery channel working there. Worked doing ghost
stories. Then another year I worked on a ghost tour and found
out that Giles Corey, you know the guy when he was pressed to
death under accusations of being a witch just asked for more
weight, was seen a few years back. Well his ghost at least. The
rumor goes that he appears in the Howard Street Grave Yard near
the countries second oldest jail, next to the one filmed in the
Shawshank redemption, on Bridge Street. The one they killed him
in and he cursed all the county Sheriffs by blood ailments. The
last one who served at the jail, did survive his heart attack
though. Well Mr Corey is suppose to be seen on the eve of any
great disaster in Salem. He was even seen before the Great Salem
Fire of 1914. Well the last time he was seen was on the eve of a
young woman took her life down at the Willows. This was the same
night I had spent with my x-fiancee in another graveyard across
town with sour patches, dipsticks, and fairy wands. Only if I
was in that graveyard he could of warned me about that great
tragedy in my own life. For she did turn out to be one. Now that
is another story, for another time!
But this October I was to work in a Psychic fair. No I am good
at, real good. But up to that point I though it was a gift you
returned as a gift. But I changed my mind. So I was to work for
a guy who though I was a real flesh in blood werewolf. He also
wanted to pick me up, but soon was he to find out I was all for
I showed up two days late for the fair and was singled out on my
first day. Yep, the yahoo found me. It was not hard to choose
me. The rest in the room were either gay or other women. Being
psychic and all, I had seen a flash of her naked and I knew I
would be sleeping with her that night. Which made me only shake
my head. But later on I am glad she was a bit more trimmed...
Than in the vision.
But it all started out in that traveling road show from bar to
bar. After work we all went out like some theatrical troop
visiting the local taverns. The rest of them alone were motley
enough, but we put the cherry on top. Actually I found out that
the only cherry that was under the table was the one that spilt
out from her drink. She needed serious work on her poker face.
No French courtesan was she at all.
The show must go, and so it did unto the next bar! At the beer
works we picked up a lesbian couple into our audience. And they
were glad they paid the price of admission. One of them got
redder than that cherry earlier mentioned. The other just egged
us on. I just felt sorry for the waitress whose nape of her
bosom that went from red to five alarm chili red by the end of
the night. The yahoo was yodeling alright! The rest was to catch
The funny thing about witches is, they are all goddess this and
oh goddess that! Until you get them on their back and it is all
oh Gods from there on in.
Now here favorite comment followed by her own unique Fran
Dresser laugh was " If it ain't pleasing me, to please you! It
ain't happening!" Throughout our month long affair she went from
being divorced, to separated, to forcing her husband to live in
the basement for five years like some troll. That Christmas I
was sent a shirt from Norway by an Aunt I only met once whose
mother was a Shaman of sorts that read "Love your neighbor, but
keep your hands off his wife!" Strange gift from a woman I only
met once who was 9,000 miles away at the time.
So one day a client came into the fair and asked about what kind
of Psychic readings do we offer. Curious about tarot, runes,
psychometry, past lives and the like. She was told that my
adulteress partner was very good at doing magical Yahoo
readings! The client was told that the psychic looked into the
dark foreboding abyss of the yahoo and divined her future. Well
that cherry color came back again. On second thoughts, I think I
should of stared down into that Yahoo and asked for a Nestle