The Trouble With Rebound Relationships
It never easy when a relationship goes sour. All the love,
attention, emotional investment that a person has made to
his/her loved one suddenly goes down the drain.
The stress and emotional turmoil that goes with this situation
can be extremely devastating on a person. That is why it is not
the most ideal time for a person who has just experienced a
break up to enter into a new relationship. Because chances are,
that a person who is in this situation is just committing
his/herself into a rebound relationship. Although, they might
not be aware of it at the time.
Emotional baggage
Persons who have just experienced a rebound relationship is
extremely vulnerable. They need a lot of emotional support,
kindness, and understanding.
Sometimes when these individuals who are torn and heartbroken
feel that they can't find this support from their friends and
family, they commit themselves into a new relationship.
The problem with this set-up is that individuals who are
experiencing a heartache may not have any true feelings for the
new person in their lives. They may still be confused and
leering from their previous relationship. They just need
somebody to help them heal.
Rotten deal
Now if you are on the receiving end of this arrangement, chances
are you are getting a rotten deal. Especially if you are already
emotionally invested on this person.
Rebounds can get extremely ugly for both parties. Especially
once the clouds have cleared up, and the person who has just
been through a break up realizes that he or she does not have
any true feelings for this person that they are in a
relationship with!
Comparison
There is always the danger of persons who have been committed in
a previous relationship to project their feelings of their
former lovers towards this new person that they have in their
lives. Especially, if there are a lot of unresolved issues with
his/her previous significant other.
Whatever flaws that a person may have had might be unconsciously
transferred into the perception of an individual who has not
fully gotten over their previous lover. This situation is a
recipe for disaster. It will instigate many fights.
The sad thing about this is the new person that would be
entering your life might be really special. But chances are if
things stay as they are, a person put into this spot would not
stick around.
Another problem with being involved in a rebound relationship is
that it doesn't allow individuals who have just had a break up
to work out whatever issues they might still have left from
their previous broken relationship. The companionship that they
get from a new person sometimes may serve as a false sense of
security.
This becomes their way of burying problems. But problems and
issues need to be resolved and not be suppressed because they
will only come back to haunt them!
Take things slow
It would be a good idea to take things slow. Just until a person
who has just ended a relationship start to heal. If you find
that you are interested in a new person, you might want to
inform this person of your situation. Be friends and see where
it goes. Look at it this way, if two individuals are meant to be
together, destiny will bring them together!
Support system
The best thing to do for individuals who have just experienced a
heartache is to be surrounded by people they that will take care
of them during this difficult time.
This is specially crucial if an individual has just gone through
a divorce or a long term relationship. It may take awhile for
them to get back their footing. It is not an easy transition to
go back from being used to sharing your life with someone to
suddenly becoming single again.
During this time, these individuals need to be with close
friends and family- people who will guide them and be sensitive
and understanding to their needs during this transitional time,
wherein a person who has just ended a relationship is trying to
leave their past behind and start a new life.
Every person needs a clean start. This is why they should give
themselves time to heal before entering into a new relationship.
This would not be the best time to start a successful
relationship.