Communication And Friendship
"One friend in a lifetime is much; two are many; three are
hardly possible."-Henry Brooks Adams. True friends are rare. It
has been said that friendship doubles our joys and halves our
sorrows.
Some may feel that friends are not necessary, sadly, to their
regret, they learn all too late in life, we all need true
friends. In fact, the quality of your life depends much on the
quality (not the quantity) of your friendships. Healthy
friendships are essential to our mental and physical well-being.
Dr. David Weeks, a neurophysiologist said "I have a high
proportion of patients with anxieties, phobias, and depression
who could be described as lonely. There are connections between
the severity of depression and the severity of loneliness." A
market survey revealed that "in the United Sates 25 percent of
the adult population suffer 'chronic loneliness' and . . . in
France half the people have experienced acute isolation." The
explosions of computer chat rooms, the proliferation of dating
clubs, and profusion of newspaper advertisements by those
seeking companionship, are indicators that we all need human
contact. And what better contact can we have than a true friend?
The answers to the following questions should help us in our
search for good friends. What is a friend? How can I find a true
friend? How can I keep my friends? And how can I be a true
friend?
What is a friend? One dictionary defines a friend as " one
attached to another by affection or esteem." Another simply
states, "a person one likes." To me the best description of a
true friend is found in one of the oldest books ever written.
These words of wise King Solomon at Proverbs 17:17 state, "A
true companion is loving all the time, and is a brother that is
born for when there is distress." Our health may fail us, our
material possessions may lose their value, but true friendship
grows stronger and flourishes with time. True intimate friends
are among the most precious gifts you will ever have, and if
allowed to grow, can produce a positive influence on you for
life.
Friendship is a gift everyone is able to give and to receive.
American essayist Ralph Waldo Emmerson once said: "the only way
to have a friend is to be one." Genuine friendships develop over
time. All to often people want the benefits of a good friendship
but they are too busy to invest the necessary time. Remember a
friend is more than just an acquaintance. We have many
acquaintances -neighbors, colleagues, and people we meet now and
again. True friendship goes far beyond a casual meeting with
others. Friendship is special; it requires an investment of
time, energy, and emotional commitment. Friendship brings
privileges, but it also involves responsibilities.
Good communication is a necessity with those we value as
friends. When you converse with others, you show personal
interest in their feelings, and you encourage them to express
their thoughts and emotions. If the conversation always centers
on you, you might end up talking to yourself. Good communication
requires being a good listener as well as the ability to express
yourself. To have real friends, we must open up to others-let
them know who we really are. At the same time we must allow them
the same opportunity. Just be yourself. Only by being genuine
can we enjoy a genuine friendship.
To keep good friends do not overlook the importance of loyalty
and confidentiality. The quickest way to lose a good friend is
to reveal a secret or something said in confidence. Once we have
a good friend, never take him, or her for granted. You can have
good friends, if you are willing to spend the time.