Put Modifiers Where They Belong and "Undangle" Them
Running up the stairs, the clock struck midnight. Mary hurried
to her room with a glance toward her parents' room. Sitting on
the side of her bed, the house seemed very quiet. Her heart
slowing down, the knowledge that she wasn't in trouble made her
smile. She decided that she must leave earlier parties during
the times she had a curfew. She hadn't known only the clock was
three minutes fast.
What? A clock runs up stairs? A room glances toward another
room. A house sits on the side of a bed? Knowledge has a heart?
She leaves parties during times of curfew? Only the clock was
fast?
The first paragraph confuses a reader because modifiers are
misplaced or dangling. A misplaced modifier appears to modify
the wrong word. A dangling modifier, a prepositional or
participial phrase, has no word in the sentence that the
modifier can logically modify. Let's look at these problem areas
and see how we can make the original paragraph understandable.
* Reword the main part of the sentence to include a word that
the dangler can modify.
Revised sentence: Running up the stairs, the girl heard
the clock struck midnight.
Revised sentence: Sitting on the side of her bed, she
thought the house seemed very quiet.
* Place the adverb only before the word or phrase it modifies.
Revised sentence: She hadn't known the clock was only
three minutes fast.
* Move the modifier as close as possible to the word or phrase
it modifies.
Revised sentence: With a glance toward her parents' room,
Mary hurried to her room.
Revised sentence: She decided that during the times she
had a curfew she must leave parties earlier.
* Reword the dangling modifier as a subordinate clause,
reflecting the relastionship fo the main idea in the modifier to
the main idea of the sentence.
Revised sentence: After her heart slowed down, the
knowledge that she wasn't in trouble made her smile.
We can now write an understandable, intelligent paragraph by
using the guidelines of correct modifiers.
Running up the stairs, the girl heard the clock struck
midnight. With a glance toward her parents' room, Mary hurried
to her room. Sitting on the side of her bed, she thought the
house seemed very quiet. After her heart slowed down, the
knowledge that she wasn't in trouble made her smile. She decided
that during the times she had a curfew she must leave parties
earlier. She hadn't known the clock was only three minutes fast.
Making sure that modifiers actually modify the word it should
allows a reader to understand what is written and meant.
Sources:
1. Writer's Companion, Prentice Hall
2. Literature:Platinum, Prentice Hall
3. Lesson plans from Vivian Zabel