Sex vs. Romance
and believe that finally they may have the answer. There are two
distinct differences in the areas of the brain associated with
sexual arousal and emotional responses typical of being
romantically involved, and using brain scans. Scientists were
able to decipher the distinctions people make-in their
brains-when presented with sexual stimuli and then pictures of
their wives and/or girlfriends. (By the way, the studies were
done on females as well, we will use the term him for the sake
of simplicity.) Subjects who had very recently entered into new
love relationships were hooked up to electro scanners and given
a series of questions to answer pertaining to their new loves.
Their levels of dopamine soared when answering the questions,
and appeared mostly to stimulate the right side of the brain,
usually associated with rewards that are not typically in the
instant gratification section. This was thought to be because
romance and love is not part of instant gratification, as is
thought to be sexual encounters, porn, and impulse control
associated with the left side of the brain. When the same
subjects were shown sexually explicit material or answered
explicit questions, the scans on the left side of the brain
reacted. More importantly, the areas of the brain which are
thought to act as the relationship matures changed strongly when
these same questions were answered by couples who had been
involved for several years, leading scientists to believe that
as we mature in our relationships, so does our brain activity in
response to that relationship. This could also explain why
couples who are very much in love also experience a sense of the
spark going out of their relationship after a few years. It's
not that they aren't attracted to each other any longer; it's
that their brain waves have matured. This could give much hope
to couples thinking about separating because they don't know
what happened to the romance and sex in their relationship. This
breakthrough could save you thousands on couples counseling, and
give the hope that as the two of you move through this area of
your relationship-and you will move through it, studies also
show that this is a growth area for couples, not the end of the
partnership- you will come out on the other side even more
attracted to each other than before. During the fifties and the
beginning of the sixties, these types of studies where not even
thought of, couples stayed together even when it seemed
impossible. With the explosion of divorce becoming popular in
the seventies and more couples separating in order to find them,
the need for these types of brain wave studies became very
necessary, and a good thing, too. If you and your partner are in
a rut, it's not the right move to separate. Stay together and
give it some time, there are other things you can do to spice up
your relationship and still stay together. Love is still by far
the strongest of all of the emotions.