Counseling for Shopping Addiction
Counseling looks at the specific problem of shopping addiction
and creates an action plan to stop the behavior. Targeted
counseling for this problem alters the negative actions of the
behavior and concurrently works toward healing the underlying
emotions, although less emphasis is placed on exploring the
emotional significance of the compulsive act than in traditional
individual psychotherapy. Counselors who work with shopaholics
often refer their clients to traditional psychotherapists when
the severity of the related emotional issues goes beyond the
expertise of the counselor. With certain clients, the
combination of counseling, psychotherapy, and/or Debtors
Anonymous goes several steps beyond the work of any one of these
methods alone.
Karen McCall of California and Ron Gallen of New York are two
counselors with significant expertise in this area: both of have
written about it and both train counselors and therapists to do
this type of work. McCall has published the Money Minder:
Financial Recovery Workbook (2002), an approach for clients to
achieve financial success; Gallen elucidates his method in The
Money Trap: A Practical Program to Stop Self-Defeating Financial
Habits So You Can Reclaim Your Grip on Life (2002). The major
premise of counseling for shopaholics is the idea that insight
alone will not stop the behavior. All stages in the shopping
addiction cycle must be identified--the triggers, the feelings,
the dysfunctional thoughts, the behavior, the consequences of
the behavior, and the meaning of the shopping addiction. The
client needs to learn how to work with each stage in the cycle
so that he or she gains more control of the problem. In this
sense, counseling for shopaholics is similar to counseling for
alcohol and drug abuse. However, recovery from a shopping
addiction is different and, in some ways more complicated: with
alcohol and drugs, abstinence is the treatment goal, but it is
impossible to abstain from buying, from using money.
Counseling for shopaholics sets out to address the entire scope
of the problem. It helps the client answer such questions as
these: How and when did the shopping addiction begin? What form
does it take? Is it shopping on the Internet, from catalogues,
on TV, in stores? Is it done on holidays? When buying gifts? In
the service of a "collection"? What emotions underlie the
shopping addiction? (Boredom? Loneliness? Anger? Anxiety?) Is it
a means to self-soothe? Is it done to try to enhance self-esteem
or feel more socially desirable? Do you shop to enliven yourself
because of an internal feeling of deadness? Is it a response to
a change in another addictive behavior?
The possibilities are endless, because each person's story is
different. The central question, however--and the one that
shopping addiction counselors are in a unique position to
address--is always the same: what can be done to end the
shopping addiction? The counseling process has as its goal to
break the cycle of the shopping addiction and to create a
workable financial structure, one that will enhance, rather than
erode, a client's quality of life. In order to do this, some of
the underlying emotional turmoil must be dealt with, from both
historical and current perspectives. There are multiple stages
in recovery from shopping addiction, and counseling also has to
proceed in a step-wise fashion. Admitting where you stand is the
key to recovery. Before any change can occur, the shopaholic
must take a long, hard look at his current situation; as with
any addiction, denial is almost endemic. What I've found useful
is to ask my clients to record all of their expenses for a
one-month period, whether a fifty-cent tip on a cab ride or a
$500 insurance premium. This provides us with some baseline
spending data. Once shopaholics have a sense of where their
money is going, the next step is to create a spending plan.
An important part of creating and using a spending plan is the
distinction between needs and wants. Both are personally
determined, but the two occupy different ends of the budgeting
continuum. A multi-million dollar mansion and a modest bungalow
both fulfill the requirement for shelter. Yet a shopaholic may
consider the impressiveness of her home before considering
financial reality, while most others would reverse these
priorities. "Finances before features" must be the mantra of
fiscal responsibility; as long as that's maintained, there's no
shame in owning a lavish home.
Debt and savings are both needs and cannot be neglected in a
spending plan. Your clients may be tempted to pay off as much
debt as possible, at the cost of other needs, or perhaps to
ignore savings altogether. This is not a balanced solution. To
make sure that debt and savings are accounted for, both should
be included in the spending plan; a balanced approach to
financial recovery is the basis of shopping addiction
counseling. Individuals may become frustrated that their debt
will not be paid off immediately, but debt repayment is only one
aspect of a new financial framework and a more balanced life.
While there is an abundance--even an overabundance--of programs
for credit counseling, debt consolidation, and repayment, these
will not really help a shopaholic. Quick fix debt resolution may
get your client out of an individual jam, but it doesn't address
the whole person, the issues and patterns that got them
indebted. Only a holistic approach can reduce the likelihood of
recurrence.
As the shopping addiction cycle is being broken, the emotions
underlying it must be addressed. The underlying pain may result
from a variety of conflicting emotions--loss, for example, or
anger, jealousy, insecurity. Developmental issues in the family
are often relevant. Everyone, after all, is influenced by the
way his family handled money. Was it used to assert power? Was
it taboo as a subject? Was it used to punish? Exploring the
emotional side of the issue can be done within shopping
addiction counseling or in traditional therapy. However it is
accomplished, the integration of the emotional and behavioral
sides is the comprehensive solution needed for lasting recovery.
Shopping addiction counseling is perhaps the most comprehensive
approach to treatment, teaming specific behavior-changing
techniques with careful attention to the precipitating emotions.
It works best in combination with individual psychotherapy or
couples or group therapy, as well as participation in Debtors
Anonymous. Although not in large numbers, there are now
practitioners throughout the country doing this type of work.