The Happiness Recipe - Attitude, Memories, and Authentic
Communication
I've done an enormous amount of research on happiness over the
years and it is a subject I am continually fascinated by. Human
beings are already such incredibly complex creatures. Add on the
ever-evolving technological and materialistic age we live in,
and happiness seems to become more and more elusive. So what can
we do to create more bliss in our busy lives? Here are three
happiness nuggets I've discovered over the years.
Build happy memories
On vacation a few years ago, we packed the kids into the car and
drove down to Cape Cod. It was cold, wet and miserable. After a
few days the sun broke through the rain clouds, and we headed
off to the beach in Chatham. Far off in the distance, we saw a
strange black mass. Rocks? What was it? We kept on walking. As
we neared that big black mass, we discovered, much to our
surprise, a huge group of over two hundred seals playfully
lollygagging on a sandbar, one hundred feet in front of us! The
kids fell madly in love with the cute, plump baby seals gazing
at us with huge, moist brown eyes. We parked ourselves on the
beach, sitting in awe of the wonderful scene, enjoying it for
hours on end.
Do you think that the kids are happy when I bring up that
memory? Absolutely! It lights up their faces (and mine) every
time. Do they think about their discarded video games the same
way? Heck, no! Memories like that last a lifetime. And it
doesn't have to be cute baby seals. How about a hike in the
mountains? Or a trip to the zoo? Happy memories last a lifetime,
"stuff "doesn't.
A great attitude is only one thought away. How many times
have you asked someone at work, at the grocery store, or even
friends, "How's it going," only to be met with a mumbled, "Not
too bad"? I've come across plenty of unhappy people, especially
in the service industry, to the point where I try to avoid any
scowling, grumbling or just plain mean people who seem to be
living their lives in a perpetual funk. But there's a particular
lady at my grocery store who always has a bright smile on her
face, a cheery hello and will go the extra mile to happily clip
out coupons for me! I always try to pass through her cash
because she makes my day that much happier. She expresses
herself in such an unabashedly joyful manner that I highly doubt
she comes into work with that "It's not going too bad" that we
all hear time and time again.
Not going too bad?? That just saddens me. So, choose your
mannerisms, body language and words carefully. How about "It's
going great"? Along with a great big smile, of course! You'll
have people doing a quick double take and maybe you'll even pass
your mood along to others. The power of attitude is simply
amazing.
Old ladies in Italy probably don't worship the Internet and
have Ipods.
During a trip to Florence, Italy, I peered out my window one
morning and was struck by a scene of older Italian ladies
amicably chatting together. Adding to the charm was all the
washed, white bed sheets flapping on clotheslines over the
street - the sort of scene out of an old movie. These ladies
certainly don't sit in front of a computer and chat over the
Internet! And that's what's scary about our supposedly
technologically superior culture. It was supposed to bring us
closer together. Remember global community and all that jazz?
But has it brought us closer together?
We seem to spend more time hunkered down in front of computers
or video games, oblivious to our neighbours in our cocoon of
electronics and suburbia. Connecting with friends, neighbours
and your kids can be deeply satisfying when all the
technological clutter is pushed aside. And those connections are
the most genuine and will probably be the happiest you have.
Those Italian ladies were really enjoying their face-to-face
time. Maybe it's time for a little less e-mail and chat sites
and a little more authentic communication in order to reconnect
with our humanness. We'll be that much happier for it.
Let's make a little happiness recipe.
One brimming cup of ever lasting wonderful memories, One packed
cup of positive attitude,
One overflowing cup of authentic communication.
Mix well.
Makes many delightful servings.
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