In my opinion, these things matter...

1. Valuing commitment over instant pleasure and faithfulness beyond short term displeasure.

2. Telling less than I feel for the purpose of learning more than I know.

3. Choosing to have mutual conflict become the playing field where we celebrate victory as opposed to the battle field where the only winners are division and discord.

4. Delighting in the dream of another -- not necessarily because I share the dream but because I'm in love with the one who owns it.

5. Appreciating what I do well in the face of what the other does better -- and doing so without downplaying either.

6. Calling it a night before calling it off.

7. Reinforcing habits that heal and breaking habits that make healing necessary.

8. Misplacing grudges more often and finding praises more often than not.

9. Making honor a way of seeing,
10. Gratefulness a way of speaking,
11. Listening with the heart a way of hearing,
12. And responding in self-control a way of emoting.

13. Striving to win as a team instead of simply striving to win.

14. Saying "I love you" more often -- without saying it.

15. Keeping a better score of what was done right than what wasn't done "as right as I would like."

16. Misplacing "You should have" more and finding "I'm glad you did" more often.

17. Developing and maintaining our own mutual admiration society.

18. Helping when I can,
19. Stopping when I should,
20. And listening a whole lot in between.

21. Speaking truth without a hurtful agenda and laying aside conflicting agendas for the sake of loving in truth.

22. Hating the word "betrayed" and choosing to join forces in waging a war against all it represents.

23. Loving for all the relationship is worth -- because it really is worth it all.

24. Working hard at words that work well instead of making it hard because "working hard at the relationship" is not in my vocabulary.

25. Realizing that forgiveness doesn't automatically make everything right -- it simply creates a more solid foundation for the remainder of the journey.

26. Learning how to laugh, cry, struggle, shout, pout, fight, celebrate and rejoice as a couple that cares as opposed to one that cares not at all.

27. Realizing there is no such thing as a "50/50" relationship in marriage. It's a "110/110" deal. We give our all -- and then some -- in order to make it all work out.

28. Choosing to make laughter, encouragement, joy, and mutual expressions of love permanent residents in our home instead of guests we hope will some day arrive.

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