The Three Keys to Gay Relationships
As a gay man in his forties I don't claim to be a "dating
expert". That said however, I must tell you that personally I
don't like to think of two people getting together to spend time
with each other as dating. I really dislike labels. When the
term dating is used I feel that it denotes preconcieved images
of how an evening has to play out. There is nothing wrong with
just spending time with somebody and getting to know them
without any pressure, and just seeing what happens from there.
I like to be honest with somebody that I am interested in. I
think that it is extremely important to be yourself, don't
misrepresent who you are, and above all else, to know what you
want out of a potential relationship. Just like any other goal
that you are striving toward you have to be able to define it.
You have to know what you are looking for, in a mate, partner,
sex buddy, or whatever kind of relationship you are striving to
attain. If you can effectively communicate what you would like
your relationship to be and be honest about your expectations,
you and your date will know if they are wasting their time. It
is always better to know if you are compatible sooner rather
than later. I tend to know exactly what I want and I am always
honest about communicating it to the other person. At this point
you might be thinking that there is no possibility that you
could be so bold.
Being bold is not that difficult. Myself, I am generally not a
very forward person when it comes to meeting people but, I have
thought about each time that I have met an interesting guy
whether it be in a bar, coffee house or social event. Each time
had something in common. That something is that, somebody has to
make contact. Don't use a corny line or gimmick. Be yourself and
state what you want. It can be as simple and straight forward as
saying, "you look like an interesting guy so I just wanted to
come over and say hi". If you want to go to dinner, hang out, go
to a movie or whatever....ask for it. I find that being bold and
directly stating what you want is more effective than beating
around the bush and cuts through all of the game playing. I have
had guys tell me that they wanted to, hang out sometime, go to
dinner, make me dinner, go to a movie, go to a wine tasting
party, have sex, go for coffee and you know what? It worked, not
all of the time but a good share of the time. State what you
want and you just might get it. Don't play games.
Datable guys, or rather guys with potential for what I am
looking for, just have to be who they normally are. Anybody
looking for that perfect guy is being unrealistic. Expecting
somebody to be perfect is way too much pressure. Our quirks and
imperfections are what make us unique and interesting. Don't try
too hard, don't be needy, and don't be upset if somebody shoots
you down. Go meet somebody else.
So to tie it all up it really is quite simple to meet somebody
for whatever type of relationship you are looking for. All you
need to remember is to be bold, honest and datable.