And That Is The Name Of The Game
And That Is The Name Of The Game
by John Botscharow
This morning I had a very enlightening discussion with Rok Hrastnik, one of my partners in 3R Marketing. The conversation with Rok started out discussing self-reflection. Rok is nineteen years old and at that point in his life where his summer has been quite an education for him. He has, perhaps for the first time, had to shoulder some serious adult responsibilities (very well. I may add). That's enough to make any young person tend toward self-reflection.
We got around to discussing why I do marketing on the Internet. As those of you who have been to our web site or to my old Robomarketer site know, my son Ian, whose fifth birthday was a week ago, was diagnosed as autistic just after his second birthday. Ian is only slightly verbal. He communicates much like an 18-month-old, mainly with gestures and a few words. Like many autistics, Ian has a mild form of obsessive-compulsive disorder, attention deficit disorder, and hyperactivity. He can be somewhat difficult to be around if you don't know him. When he was diagnosed as autistic, my wife and I made a decision that one of us would always be available for him. Because of a lot of factors that are not relevant to this article, it became my responsibility to find a way to earn some money so that I could be available for Ian. That is what led me to the Internet. Only logical, don't you think?
But what led me to marketing almost 20 years ago? If you are familiar with my academic background, you know that my degrees are in areas far from the traditional education that people in marketing have. What drove me to become a marketer?
The one thing that I've always enjoyed doing is communicating with people, most especially one-on-one. I enjoy helping, teaching and encouraging people. To me, that's what marketing is about - or should be!
Remember, marketing is communicating with your prospects! Something that a lot of marketers forget is that prospects are people and need to be treated as such. They're not some statistics from a marketing survey. They are flesh and blood with hopes and desires and dreams. To be a good marketer you need to be able to understand those hopes, desires and dreams and make your marketing efforts tap into them.
What that means is that you need to have a positive view of human nature. You have to have faith in the human spirit. You want your prospects to react positively to your marketing? Then touch their hopes, their dreams. And I don't mean with promises of lots of financial rewards. I honestly believe that most people are not motivated at their deepest levels by greed. Rather, appeal to their "higher instincts." For instance, if you really want to get my attention, don't promise me a million dollars in five minutes, but tell me this will help my children grow into the kind of people that will make a positive contribution to human society.
To be successful, you must first have faith in your ability to succeed. That faith is NOT divinely given to you at birth. That faith is a reflection of the programming you have done to your subconscious mind. Put positive, uplifting stuff into your subconscious and you will be amazed at what comes out. You will have a whole new perspective on life. Turn a negative into a benefit.
For example, when we first were informed of Ian's diagnosis, my wife and I were devastated. But, once the initial shock wore off, I realized two things: I could not change his condition; and there was nothing either my wife or I could have done to prevent it. Watching his slow, tortuous progress has taught me to appreciate even the most "trivial" of developments, not only in Ian, but in his little brother Michael. Most of us, especially with children after the first-born, take a child learning to answer to his name as commonplace. But what if the child does not learn to do it until they are five? And what if you have a younger child besides? You are amazed by how they learn and develop! What a miracle to watch a child develop. Ian was a blessing in disguise.
So many people, even family members, have suggested that we consider an institution for Ian. That we should focus on providing more material goods for our "normal" children. But we don't listen to this "garbage." Ian has had a very strong positive effect on our abilities as parents. He has taught us to appreciate all the little things about child development that most parents take for granted. We are grateful that we have two normal children, but we feel especially blessed to have Ian. Without him, we would never have learned to appreciate life and our children to the fullest. We might have more money, more "free time," but less pure joy in our lives. One family's tragedy is another family's blessing!
Have I sold you on having an autistic child yet? Do you understand the point I'm trying to make? Most parents would not ever want a disabled child. But I would gladly accept another one because of what having Ian has taught me. I've taken the negative and made it a positive.
How did we turn this negative into a positive? We refused to listen to the people who said that trying to raise an autistic child in a normal house was all but impossible. We readjusted our priorities. We stopped associating with the nay-sayers. Rather we found a group of parents, teachers, and therapists who formed our support net, who encouraged us, who taught us, who believed in us and in Ian. Three long years of waiting. And now all that hope is starting to show signs of being fulfilled. In the last three months, Ian has made as much progress as he had in the last three years. We had faith in ourselves and in our son.
Have faith in yourself! Have faith in your prospects! Teach yourself to believe in what you are doing and how you are doing it! Commitment and involvement. With faith you can move mountains! With faith you can succeed! Without it, you're doomed to mediocrity!
Recommended reading: Napoleon Hill's "Think and Grow Rich"
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About the Author
John Botscharow is editor of the Web Guerrilla Journal and the R Market Daily. He is also one of the partners in 3 R Marketing. Visit them at http://www.3r-marketing.com and subscribe to one or more of their marketing newsletters.