SPLITTING HAIRS OVER BALDNESS
I'm a barber with no hair, and the oddity of it is such that it
seems to startle people into saying something. So, regularly,
there is someone who - in jest - comments about my bald head.
Generally, it's in the form of, "You're not going to cut my hair
like yours, are you?" And, I usually laugh along with the
customer.
I've had plenty of time to get used to being bald and to
references to it. I started losing my hair when I was sixteen.
Instead of waiting until I was old and then turning gray, my
hair simply decided to turn loose, leaving only fringe around
the sides. What hair I have on the sides is very thin, so I
shave my head with a safety razor every few days for a neater
appearance. That's the whole story. Whew, it feels so good to
finally come clean.
As you might suspect from what I just said, when I speak as The
Barber-osopher I often joke about my appearance. I tell
audiences that the reason for my appearance is that when I first
started professional speaking I was concerned about my
effectiveness. So, I prayed for a clear head. I'm really not
sensitive about the matter. However, I am sensitive about
insensitivity and rudeness.
I've often wondered why those who would refrain from calling
attention to other physical characteristics of folks feel no
sense of restraint when it comes to baldness. Strangers, or
people I hardly know, often ask all sorts of personal questions.
For instance, a stranger, who was sincerely trying to be
sympathetic, walked up to Sherry and me in the San Antonio
International Airport and asked if I was undergoing
chemotherapy. Can you imagine this same person asking an obese
person if he has a thyroid problem or how how long he has been
obese, if anyone else in his family is obese, if he has ever
considered doing something about his obesity? Yet, it is very
common for a bald man to be asked similar questions.
As I've said, I'm very comfortable with my appearance. It's me!
What makes me very uncomfortable is any thoughtless or unkind
reference to another's appearance. Unkind references might even
include nicknames based upon appearance such as "Slick," "Slim,"
"Shorty," "Red" or "Curly" unless the person indicates that is
what he wants to be called. In business, and all other
relationships, these or like references pose huge relational
risks. And, remember, an awkward laugh from the recipient might
simply be his or her way of masking resentment.
BARBER-OSOPHY: If you think it might be rude or offensive, DON'T
ask it or say it.
Copyright 1997, Terry L. Sumerlin.
Permission is granted to reprint this article as long as a link
to www.barber-osophy.com
is included. Terry L. Sumerlin, known as the
Barber-osopher, is the author of "A HUMAN BECOMING - A Life
Changing Voyage," and is a columnist for the San Antonio
Business Journal. He speaks nationally as a
humorist/motivational speaker. Visit his website at www.Barber-osophy.com.